The doctor told me in color blind... Me: that's out of he purple
you think people with glasess are smart but they fail the eye doter test
(Tripple Pun)
What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?
Raisin are kids is usually pretty fun, but some times they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin.
getting hurt is a bone breaking experience it's such a spine tingling event
I went to the doctors yesterday I said: when I touch my back it hurts when I touch my knee it hurts when I touch anything it hurts! 😣 what’s wrong with me Doctor: you’ve broken your finger
Doctor: I have bad news and really bad news. Patient: what's the bad news? Doctor: you have 24 hours to live. Patient: What's the really bad news? Doctor: I forgot to tell you yesterday.
Michael Jackson goes to the doctor
Michael Jackson: Help doctor I've been shot. Doctor: I cant fix that but I can change your skin color so it doesn't happen again
A guy went to the doctor and told him that whenever he drinks a cup of tea his eye hurts ,the doctor brought him a cup and asked him to drink ... when he finished the doctor told him : from now on take off the spoon.
A pregnant wife and her husband were in a hospital as she was in labour, the doctor suggested using a machine that transfers the birth pains from the mother to the father, they agree so the machine is used, 40%, the husband feels nothing, 70% still not felling anything, 100%, nothing. The doctor says it must be broken. When the pair return home, the milkman is dead in the front yard.
I went to the doctor because I had a steering wheel in my pants and it was drivin me nuts
Doctor: I'm sorry but your surgery will cost a lot of money. Buuuuuut what's this behind your ear? Oh it's still cancer
Kid with Cancer: When I get older, I want to be a movie star or a singer.
Nure: *Laughs*
Kid: Why are you laughing?
Nurse: When I get OLDER.
Proceeds to laugh.
My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, “You are in your 50’s now, you have GOT to stop masturbating.” I asked why. She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you, ya’ pervert!!!”
I went for my routine check up last week and everything was going great until the doctor stuck her finger up my butt. Should I look for a new dentist?
/Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?" "To the morgue." "What? But I’m not dead yet!" "And we’re not there yet."
When the doctor asks you what your zodiac sign is
You respond: cancer
Doctor says: well what a coincidence!
Doctor: Do you want the good news or the bad news first? Patient: Good news! Doctor: We are naming a disease after you.
For you have a overdose on a drug and die, then the lethal dose would a lifetime supply.
Doctor: You need new glasses.
Patient: How'd you know? I haven't even told you what is wrong with me yet.
Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window.
Mother: How is my little cookie 🍪 doing?
Doctor 👩⚕️: Your cookie 🍪 is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor 👩⚕️: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: 😁♥️🍪
