Yo mama so fat they faked COVID-19 just to put a mask on her.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? His left shoulder.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite robot? Him as his shoulder/wheelchair.
What's Stephen Hawking's worst nightmare?
Stairs.
I'm sorry your dad beat you instead of cancer.
Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!
What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?
"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"
I'll tell you a good joke. Stephen Hawking went for a walk.
If you look up the word "wheelchair" in a dictionary, you will see a picture of Stephen Hawking.
Why is he called Stephen Hawking?
Because he is always trying to hawk up phlegm to clear his throat.
If Stephen Hawking was a boxer, he would roll with the punches.
What would be the most heartbreaking scene in a dementia film? I forgor 💀.
Having a stroke?
Stop it!
If you feel a lump in your rice, you fucked up.
If you feel a lump in your skin, you have cancer.
What is the best way to get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
My stepdad has stage 4 cancer and is going through chemotherapy... at least he saves money on shampoo and conditioner.
What's the difference between herpes and my dad?
Herpes stays around.
I hate salmonella.
It is such a pain in the butt.
Sometimes a depressed person is antidepression.
Disney just released a new film about a poor kid with cancer. It’s called Finding Chemo.
That awkward moment when you thought the guy was a pretty good magician, and only then realize he simply suffers from leprosy.
