Disease jokes
What's an asthma patient’s least favorite vegetable?
An arti-“choke”!
What's green and has a thousand nipples?
A garbage bag in the alley behind a breast cancer clinic.
Q: What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
A: Throw in some laundry.
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
My dad didn't beat the cancer.
"Oh, hey guys, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"
"Oh, hey guys, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"
"Oh, hey, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"
Doctor: I have bad news.
Man: What?
Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.
Man: Oh, no...
Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.
Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!
Did you hear the joke about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
What is the difference between a guy with cancer and the Twin Towers?
Nothing, they both fell.
There's an outbreak of foot and mouth disease, it can affect pigs and cows.
I hope my teacher will be ok.
What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.
Mom, can I be a firefighter when I grow up?
Mom: Oh, you won't grow up, Caillou.
If only Africa had more mosquito nets, then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of AIDS.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
What's ALS?
What is the difference between underaged privileged children with bone cancer and you?
I like you!
How do you get a hippy pregnant?
Cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.
Stephen Hawking's least favorite song is "I'm Still Standing."
I told a diabetic girl to have sweet dreams...
she died the next morning.
Two lepers meet on the street.
First says "How are you doing?"
Second says "Mustn't crumble!"
Why are cancer kids so fly?
Because they got the drip.
What do you call an emo cancer kid?
Chemo.