I wish I didn't have depression because all my friends have "BBC Bitch be crazy" disease.
Hey girl, are you osteoporosis, because you're giving me a "bone" condition.
What's the difference between my dad and cancer? Cancer doesn't leave you.
How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, 1 to change the lightbulb, 9 to talk about how inspired they are?
Two cows are out grazing in the field. One cow says to the other cow, "Aren't you worried about this mad cow disease that's been going around?" The other cow replied, "Why would I be worried about mad cow disease? I'm a rabbit!"
history teacher: They had a temporary cure for the disease , but it would be years before the found a cure for life. Student: I need that.
Q: What did the cannibal say to the leper?
A: You gonna eat that?
What type of comedy can't Steven Hawking do?
Stand-up comedy.
I almost had a joke about Parkinson's disease, but I was too shaken up to say it.
How do you get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
Stage 4 cancer is like a woman. You can’t beat it, but if you do, she’ll probably come back again.
Why did Grampa pass out? Because of diabetes.
What's the difference between cancer and a Nazi? Cancer doesn't discriminate.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and cancer?
A prostitute can beat my dick any day, but a prostitute can’t beat cancer.
This disabled kid walked up to me so I asked what disease he had. He said Lima. So I said, come again? And he said Lima nuts and I asked if that was a fruit and he said. No I'm a vegetable.
What's the most expensive haircut in the world?
Chemotherapy.
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read, "It's a bumpy road but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
What do you call a malignant cell in Paris?
A Royale with cancer.
How would you best describe prostate cancer?
Well, it is somewhere between a dick and an asshole!
What did the cancer cell say to its neighbor?
"Mind if I join you?"
