Disabled jokes
There's a disabled kid in my class, right? Oops, should've brought my Hot Wheels tracks.
What do you call a blind and illiterate military leader?
Winston Churchill.
If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?
The Royal Commission.
Alternatively, Tony Abbott.
"Fuckin blakfellas be drunk all the time," slurred Barry McKenzie over his tenth pint of guiness.
Did you ever see any white men drowning in the Atlantic Ocean?
Yeah, it went on and on.
When a wheelchair kid bends over, wheelchair kid goes “ohhahahhahhahahahahal!”
What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms or legs? Matt.
What does a disabled disco play?
"When your legs don’t work like they used to before."
The man had no arms and a little girl came over and said, "Give me a high-five."
He said, "I’ve got no arms," and the girl said, "Are you an eel? Cause he don’t have arms."
I had sex with a disabled girl. You can say I handiclapped those cheeks.
Disabled man stands up.
Blind man: “You can stand?”
Deaf man: “You can see?”
Mute man: “You can hear?”
Disabled man: “You can talk?”
Doctor: “What the actual fuck?”
Other doctor: “FUCK THIS, I QUIT!”
Person 1: “You assume I’m gay because I have rainbow hair, I’m wearing a rainbow shirt, and I have a rainbow pride flag behind me?”
Person 2: “You assume I’m disabled because I have deformed arms and limbs, no legs, and I ride around in a wheelchair?”
Balls.
Why did Steven Hawking go to hell?
Because there is a stairway to heaven.
What do you say to a crippled man getting bullied?
"Why not you stand up for yourself?"
My stepdad has stage 4 cancer and is going through chemotherapy... at least he saves money on shampoo and conditioner.
Man, this walk is really good. Oh wait, you can't.
What is the difference between kinky and perverted?
Kinky is when an abled-bodied gay male is receiving an anonymous blow job from a physically disabled gay male under the handicapped stall at a rest area.
Perverted is when an abled-bodied gay male has to give a Klondike Bar to a physically disabled gay male to receive an anonymous blow job under the handicapped stall at a rest area.
A blind guy shot up a town.
I guess he couldn’t see the road to heaven.