Disabled

Disabled jokes

Man

Did you ever see any white men drowning in the Atlantic Ocean?

Yeah, it went on and on.

Politician

If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?

The Royal Commission.

Alternatively, Tony Abbott.

Time

"Fuckin blakfellas be drunk all the time," slurred Barry McKenzie over his tenth pint of guiness.

Disco

What does a disabled disco play?

"When your legs don’t work like they used to before."

Guy

What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms or legs? Matt.

Kid

There's a disabled kid in my class, right? Oops, should've brought my Hot Wheels tracks.

Cheek

I had sex with a disabled girl. You can say I handiclapped those cheeks.

Man

Disabled man stands up.

Blind man: “You can stand?”

Deaf man: “You can see?”

Mute man: “You can hear?”

Disabled man: “You can talk?”

Doctor: “What the actual fuck?”

Other doctor: “FUCK THIS, I QUIT!”

Assumption

Person 1: “You assume I’m gay because I have rainbow hair, I’m wearing a rainbow shirt, and I have a rainbow pride flag behind me?”

Person 2: “You assume I’m disabled because I have deformed arms and limbs, no legs, and I ride around in a wheelchair?”

Man

What do you say to a crippled man getting bullied?

"Why not you stand up for yourself?"

Cancer

My stepdad has stage 4 cancer and is going through chemotherapy... at least he saves money on shampoo and conditioner.

Difference

What is the difference between kinky and perverted?

Kinky is when an abled-bodied gay male is receiving an anonymous blow job from a physically disabled gay male under the handicapped stall at a rest area.

Perverted is when an abled-bodied gay male has to give a Klondike Bar to a physically disabled gay male to receive an anonymous blow job under the handicapped stall at a rest area.

Guy

A blind guy shot up a town.

I guess he couldn’t see the road to heaven.

  • 1
  • Dog

    Why did Hellen Keller's dogs run away?

    Because wouldn't you runway too if your name was djhdhekdndyekedhekekfjkfurir?

    Kid

    A blind kid was talking to me because he was getting bullied...

    I told him, "Just tell them what you see!"