Disabled jokes
"Fuckin blakfellas be drunk all the time," slurred Barry McKenzie over his tenth pint of guiness.
When a wheelchair kid bends over, wheelchair kid goes “ohhahahhahhahahahahal!”
If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?
The Royal Commission.
Alternatively, Tony Abbott.
What do you call a disabled person who deals drugs?
A wheel dealer.
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms or legs? Matt.
There's a disabled kid in my class, right? Oops, should've brought my Hot Wheels tracks.
What does a disabled disco play?
"When your legs don’t work like they used to before."
What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
The man had no arms and a little girl came over and said, "Give me a high-five."
He said, "I’ve got no arms," and the girl said, "Are you an eel? Cause he don’t have arms."
I had sex with a disabled girl. You can say I handiclapped those cheeks.
What do you call a gay person on fire? LGBBQ.
What do you call a disabled person on fire? Hot wheels.
What do you call an Asian person on fire? Vietnam.
Disabled man stands up.
Blind man: “You can stand?”
Deaf man: “You can see?”
Mute man: “You can hear?”
Disabled man: “You can talk?”
Doctor: “What the actual fuck?”
Other doctor: “FUCK THIS, I QUIT!”
Person 1: “You assume I’m gay because I have rainbow hair, I’m wearing a rainbow shirt, and I have a rainbow pride flag behind me?”
Person 2: “You assume I’m disabled because I have deformed arms and limbs, no legs, and I ride around in a wheelchair?”
Balls.
Why did Steven Hawking go to hell?
Because there is a stairway to heaven.
Man, this walk is really good. Oh wait, you can't.
What do you say to a crippled man getting bullied?
"Why not you stand up for yourself?"
My stepdad has stage 4 cancer and is going through chemotherapy... at least he saves money on shampoo and conditioner.
What is the difference between kinky and perverted?
Kinky is when an abled-bodied gay male is receiving an anonymous blow job from a physically disabled gay male under the handicapped stall at a rest area.
Perverted is when an abled-bodied gay male has to give a Klondike Bar to a physically disabled gay male to receive an anonymous blow job under the handicapped stall at a rest area.
A blind guy shot up a town.
I guess he couldn’t see the road to heaven.