Disabled jokes
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Slap it on the arse and tell it to keep going!
What is a "dad?"
Stephen Hawking has enough money to stand up, but can’t grab the money.
Why did people bully Steven Hawking?
Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
A quad rasher ran him over.
What did the guy with two hands say to the guy with one hand?
"Hi-five!"
If the dyslexic man wanted to adopt a kid, then how could he sign the papers?
Why do disabled people make good golfers?
Because they're always handicapped.
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"Rueben Glover is a Steven Hawking spastic."
No one. Beyoncé said "To the left, to the left!" She really meant women have no rights.
You look like a 2 year old drawing that came alive.
What do Communism, Socialism, Feminism, and Fascism all have in common?
They are all disabilities.
Why does five plus five equal eleven?
Because it's actually six.
I pushed a disabled kid over, and he came crawling back to me.
I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, it’s been two years, and he still hasn’t gotten into the van.
How does a disabled person play chess?
I think you forgot they don't have legs.
Which is more disabling, is it autism or Down syndrome?
Your mam is gay.
How do Chinese people play in Spy?
They can't.