Disabled Jokes

My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are up.

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

What do you call a disabled person who gets high?

Baked potato.

What do you call a cut cucumber?

A guy with no legs.

Why did the midget not go to bed?

He couldn't reach the bed.

Guy, it was so weird yesterday. I saw a guy, and he kept repeating the same thing over and over. I hate people with dementia. I told my mom to get a new mirror, but she won’t listen to me. It’s almost like I said it like 20 times every time I say it.

Did you see that Chinese man with no legs?

No, I'm blind.

Stop ruining my jokes.

Isn't that the Chinese man with no legs' fault?

It's not like He Go Ann Hi Weh.

In the hospital, they need to keep the disabled patients' rooms cooler than the other patients' rooms.

Why?

They need to keep the vegetables cool and crisp.

My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.

The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."

Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.

If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.

What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?

Fast food.

I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"

What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?

"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)

Today I was at PE, and I saw a kid in a wheelchair. I threw a basketball at him, and I yelled, "Rocket League!"

So I told the officer, "I can't even walk when I'm sober."

Heard the Helen Keller single?

It’s called ERRRRRAGHHH!!!

Why do disabled people always get picked on?

Because they can’t stand up for themselves.

Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.

What do you call getting gonorrhea from a disabled person?

A slow clap.