Disabled

Disabled jokes

Patient

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

To get to the other side!

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  • Orphan

    What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?

    They both cannot see their family.

    Man

    What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?

    "They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)

    Basketball

    Today I was at PE, and I saw a kid in a wheelchair. I threw a basketball at him, and I yelled, "Rocket League!"

    Handicapped man

    What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"

    Dandruff

    Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.

    Comeback

    There is a young man smoking and a woman in a wheelchair. The woman says, "Why is a young man like you smoking?" The man turns around and says, "Why the fuck are you wearing trainers?"

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  • Tourette

    Why can't people with Tourette's learn to drive?

    Because they'll cause a car crash.

    Cookie

    How do you piss off a disabled person?

    You put the cookie on the other shoulder.

    Pledge

    I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldn't stand for the pledge. She was in a wheelchair.

    Fish Market

    A blind man was walking into a fish market. He took a deep breath and said, “Good morning, ladies!”

    Movie

    What are the subtitles when a disabled person speaks in a movie?

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