Disabled jokes
Pick up lines.
"One fish, two fish, three fish, I’m breaking up with you, b*tch!"
"Hey there little mister, I’m dating your sister."
Why can't people with Tourette's learn to drive?
Because they'll cause a car crash.
A blind man was walking into a fish market. He took a deep breath and said, “Good morning, ladies!”
I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldn't stand for the pledge. She was in a wheelchair.
My friend wants to do martial arts, but he's disabled, so I guess it’s partial arts.
What are the subtitles when a disabled person speaks in a movie?
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What do you call a walkie-talkie for retards? -- A stumblie-mumblie.
What is a disabled person's least favorite song?
"I'm Still Standing."
The kid in the wheelchair was getting bullied, so I encouraged him to stand up for himself. I don't know why he started crying.
I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.
Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.
I got fired my first day at the bank. This old lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
What did John say to little Timmy? Happy Disable day!
What do you call a nun on a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
When life gives you melons, You’re probably dyslexic.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? A combo meal.
What brands do people in wheelchairs wear?
Michelin.
Why does the disabled person scrunch his toilet paper up? Because that’s the way he rolls.
What's better than winning gold at the Paralympics?
Not being retarded.
Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."
When I saw a kid fall with no legs, I said, "Just walk it off!"