Disabled jokes
My handicapped friend was getting bullied. I said, "Just stand up for yourself!"
What do you call a disabled Arab?
Artoo-Detoo (R2-D2).
Today I was at PE, and I saw a kid in a wheelchair. I threw a basketball at him, and I yelled, "Rocket League!"
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)
What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?
They both cannot see their family.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.
There is a young man smoking and a woman in a wheelchair. The woman says, "Why is a young man like you smoking?" The man turns around and says, "Why the fuck are you wearing trainers?"
Why can't people with Tourette's learn to drive?
Because they'll cause a car crash.
What do you call getting gonorrhea from a disabled person?
A slow clap.
How do you piss off a disabled person?
You put the cookie on the other shoulder.
My friend wants to do martial arts, but he's disabled, so I guess it’s partial arts.
What are the subtitles when a disabled person speaks in a movie?
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A blind man was walking into a fish market. He took a deep breath and said, “Good morning, ladies!”
I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldn't stand for the pledge. She was in a wheelchair.
What did John Cena say to the blind kid? "You can't see me."
What do you call a cripple convention? A salad.
What do you call a walkie-talkie for retards? -- A stumblie-mumblie.