What did Steven Hawking say when the WiFi cut out?.........Nothing.
I walked up to a man, and he said, "How's the weather up there?" and then I pushed him into the street to get hit by a bus.
Why did Annie fall from the swing?
Because she had no hands.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Annie.
What do you call a fat person in a wheelchair?
A broken wheelchair.
I bought my spoiled brother a trampoline for his birthday, But he decided to sit in his wheelchair like a little bitch
Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand store!
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand-up.
What's simultaneously up and down?
A retard on a plane.
What’s better than winning a medal at the Paralympics?
Being able to walk
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?
You have to look down to see him.
I saw a disabled person in the super market. They were at the vegetable aisle.
A kid got a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. He was still unhappy.
Why?
The kid had no legs.
My handicapped friend was getting bullied. I said, "Just stand up for yourself!"
I told my new girlfriend that my mother is deaf.
So she would have to speak loudly and slowly.
I told my mother that my new girlfriend is disabled. Now we wait.
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?
They both cannot see their family.
What do you call a disabled Arab?
Artoo-Detoo (R2-D2).
What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"
Pick up lines.
"One fish, two fish, three fish, I’m breaking up with you, b*tch!"
"Hey there little mister, I’m dating your sister."
