Disabled

Disabled jokes

Why did Susie fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.

Knock knock. Who's there?

Not Susie.

Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same.

The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr. Independent and insists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair's getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!

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  • Why don't wheelchairs have pedals, so when their arms get tired, they can keep going with their feet?

    How does a kid with no arms or legs like a video on YouTube when they say smash the like button?

    They literally smash the like button "uuuuuugghghhhgBANG!"

    What do Communism, Socialism, Feminism, and Fascism all have in common?

    They are all disabilities.

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  • It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.

    I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.

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  • I should be ashamed of myself for making all these jokes at the expense of the disabled! After all, they can't even stand up for themselves.

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