Disabled jokes
What songs do people with no arms listen to?
None, 'cause they can’t press play.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
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Where are people sent to die?
Ross Hall academy.
Q: How do Chinese people name their kids?
A: They throw pots and pans down the stairs and see what noises they make.
You look like a 2 year old drawing that came alive.
If Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money.
P.S. The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to "When You Wish Upon A Star", with the castle being the Blue Peter ship instead.
What do you call a Censor with Autism?
A Censorspaz.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
The hooker can wash out her crack and reuse it.
I saw a disabled person in the super market. They were at the vegetable aisle.
Why did Suzy fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Not Suzy.
A paraplegic walks into a bar...
It's funny because he can't walk.
Recent attempts to defund Special Olympics have organizers scrambling to come up with more corporate sponsorship... targeted companies include:
Kleenex
Depends
Bicycle Helmet manufacturers
Velcro Shoe manufacturers
Steven Hawkings Publishers
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He lost WiFi connection.
My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are up.
My friend and I were walking down the street, and we saw this one disabled kid getting bullied by three other kids. Urgently, we sprinted over to help. He had no chance against the five of us.
"SpaStics on aplastic. Add me on ps4 SpaZZagaZZa54."
One weekend some distant family members that I hadn't met before came over. My cousins (who I also hadn't met before) were fighting, so I decided to separate them and place them in opposite corners of the room (thinking it would help).
My mom took me to an empty room with tears in her eyes and told me they both ended up dying.
Well, SO-RRY, but I didn't know they were conjoined twins.
How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.
Why does the disabled person scrunch his toilet paper up? Because that’s the way he rolls.