Disabled jokes
How do you know when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
Why do you make fun of disabled people?
They can't stand up for themselves.
Heard the Helen Keller single?
It’s called ERRRRRAGHHH!!!
I should be ashamed of myself for making all these jokes at the expense of the disabled! After all, they can't even stand up for themselves.
There's a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run.
Ehhhhhhhh.
Why couldn't the kid go rock wall climbing?
Because every time he moved his leg upward, his prosthetic leg fell off.
What's fat and wanks over his mom?
Guy Sheppard.
I get knocked down, but I get up again, as long as I have 46 chromosomes.
Why did the disabled chicken cross the road?
To get its wheelchair!
How do they execute paraplegics?
With the electric wheelchair.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Slap it on the arse and tell it to keep going!
Bean.
Sans
This is American politics that is not true.
Hey guys, Billy has this weird disability where when he has sex with someone, he says their name really loud.
Billy: Hey guys, I just got back from my DADS!!
Wait, what Billy?
A slag is like the first piece of bread in a loaf. Everyone touches it, but nobody wants it.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.
But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.
Why did people bully Steven Hawking?
Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in a pile of leaves?
Russell