Disability jokes
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
What do pedophiles call children in wheelchairs?
"Meals on Wheels."
What were Stephen's last words? “Battery low.”
What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.
How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, 1 to change the lightbulb, 9 to talk about how inspired they are?
Michelle Obama wanted more vegetables in school.
Where do you find a dog with no arms or legs?
Where you left it.
An Indian guy and an American guy in a wheelchair met in a bar for drinks.
The American guy got drunk and fell on the sidewalk.
The Indian guy got drunk and walked away.
So the other day, I saw a child in a wheelchair.
He was getting bullied a lot, so I came up and said, "Why don't you stand up to those bullies?"
What do you say to a guy with Down syndrome who’s on top of a sky scraper? "Jump!"
Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"
What time is it when you can drive a house? Time to get a wheelchair.
Why did little Susie fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms or legs.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Susie.
Q: Where do you find a quadriplegic?
A: Right where you left 'em.
Why do Down's kids blend in in geometry?
Their foreheads are angled.
My friend threw a soccer ball at a disabled kid.
We all yelled "Rocket league!"
Why couldn't anyone hear Helen Keller when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing mittens.
Down syndrome kid: Stop being greedy with the Legos! Me: Stop being greedy with the chromosomes!
My friend's mother thought a kid who had autism and Down syndrome called him a "double down."
If laughter is the best medicine, shouldn't we go up to disabled people and laugh at them?
Stop making jokes about disabled people; they can’t stand up for themselves.