Disability jokes
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
Why did Susie get cut from the soccer team? She has no legs!
Who broke into my house by kicking down my door? Not Susie... But she still is in my basement, since she can't run!
How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, 1 to change the lightbulb, 9 to talk about how inspired they are?
Where do you find a dog with no arms or legs?
Where you left it.
Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"
Michelle Obama wanted more vegetables in school.
What time is it when you can drive a house? Time to get a wheelchair.
What do you say to a guy with Down syndrome who’s on top of a sky scraper? "Jump!"
I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."
An Indian guy and an American guy in a wheelchair met in a bar for drinks.
The American guy got drunk and fell on the sidewalk.
The Indian guy got drunk and walked away.
So the other day, I saw a child in a wheelchair.
He was getting bullied a lot, so I came up and said, "Why don't you stand up to those bullies?"
Why did little Susie fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms or legs.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Susie.
My friend's mother thought a kid who had autism and Down syndrome called him a "double down."
Q: Where do you find a quadriplegic?
A: Right where you left 'em.
Why do Down's kids blend in in geometry?
Their foreheads are angled.
Why couldn't anyone hear Helen Keller when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing mittens.
Down syndrome kid: Stop being greedy with the Legos! Me: Stop being greedy with the chromosomes!
If laughter is the best medicine, shouldn't we go up to disabled people and laugh at them?
What do you call a horse rider with Down syndrome?
Down Quijote.
Stop making jokes about disabled people; they can’t stand up for themselves.
How did Stephen Hawking die? He lost Wi-Fi connection.