Disability jokes

How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, 1 to change the lightbulb, 9 to talk about how inspired they are?

Where do you find a dog with no arms or legs?

Where you left it.

What do you say to a guy with Down syndrome who’s on top of a sky scraper? "Jump!"

I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."

Why did little Susie fall off the swing?

Because she has no arms or legs.

Knock knock.

"Who's there?"

Not Susie.

Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"

What do you call a blowjob from a girl who has autism?

Special head.

So the other day, I saw a child in a wheelchair.

He was getting bullied a lot, so I came up and said, "Why don't you stand up to those bullies?"

An Indian guy and an American guy in a wheelchair met in a bar for drinks.

The American guy got drunk and fell on the sidewalk.

The Indian guy got drunk and walked away.

What time is it when you can drive a house? Time to get a wheelchair.

Q: Where do you find a quadriplegic?

A: Right where you left 'em.

Why do Down's kids blend in in geometry?

Their foreheads are angled.

Why couldn't anyone hear Helen Keller when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing mittens.

My friend's mother thought a kid who had autism and Down syndrome called him a "double down."

Down syndrome kid: Stop being greedy with the Legos! Me: Stop being greedy with the chromosomes!

If laughter is the best medicine, shouldn't we go up to disabled people and laugh at them?

Stop making jokes about disabled people; they can’t stand up for themselves.

What do you call a horse rider with Down syndrome?

Down Quijote.

How did Stephen Hawking die? He lost Wi-Fi connection.

Stephen Hawking isn't dead, he's just can't walk to the shop and get new batteries. 🙄