Disability jokes
Why is vegetable soup hard to cook? Because you can't fit the wheelchair in!
I'm really worried for Stephen Hawking, 'cause how is he going to climb the stairway to Heaven?
Helen Keller deaf-initely faked it!
What’s Stephan Hawking's favorite dance move?
The robot.
A man with no arms is tasked with a lot of jobs. Then he says to his boss, "I can't handle all of this!"
Why was Stephen Hawking disappointed when he got his Christmas present? It was singing lessons.
What part of the Earth does Helen Keller not have?
The sea.
How am I an ableist? My ex-girlfriend was in a wheelchair, and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to the 8th floor.
My blind friend got ran over by a parked car.
VOTING FINAL This vote is for the best School Shooter joke of the month.
LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
DISLIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
Vote for the better joke and the Joke of the Month will be announced in the comments tomorrow.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter what you call him, he won’t come anyway.
Why couldn't the kid with Down syndrome play football? Because he got all the downs.
Person 1: “You assume I’m gay because I have rainbow hair, I’m wearing a rainbow shirt, and I have a rainbow pride flag behind me?”
Person 2: “You assume I’m disabled because I have deformed arms and limbs, no legs, and I ride around in a wheelchair?”
If a deaf person is missing fingers, is it a speech impediment or an accent?
What's black and sitting in a chair? Steven Hawking after a house fire.
What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Heads and Shoulders?
So a blind man walks into a bar.
At least he thinks so.
What do you call a bunch of bi-racial, retarded kids? Mixed vegetables.
Stephen Hawking talks by clicks. Two clicks is "hi," and five is "dab me up."