Disability jokes

Today I was at PE, and I saw a kid in a wheelchair. I threw a basketball at him, and I yelled, "Rocket League!"

"Dad? What's dark humor?" "See that man with no arms over there, son, tell him to clap." "But daddy, I'm blind."

My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.

I was a sit-down comedian, then I tried to stand up. I fell.

I wished I stayed in the wheelchair.

Did you know Helen Keller had a sister?

Neither did she.

I like my women like I like my traction control: disabled.

Why did Helen Keller's cat run away? I would run away if my name was jufhvfhvurhkso.

I pushed a man in a wheelchair into a fire. Now we call him "hot wheels."

What do you call a person with Down syndrome in the military?

Special Forces.

Stephen Hawking would be a bad Pokemon.

He'd always be paralyzed, and his only move would be tackle!

Why did Steven Hawking's snot not go to heaven?

Because there is no ramp to heaven.

Why did the one-handed man cross the road?

To get to the second-hand store!

Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms.

Knock, knock. Who's there?

Not Bob.

What do you call the girl with no arms and no legs?

Names.

Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.

What do you call someone in a wheelchair during a California fire?

A steamed vegetable.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They stuck her in a round room and told her to find the penny in the corner.

Why did the rapist go after the mute? It would be a silent attack.

My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are up.

A girl named Sally has no arms.

"KNOCK KNOCK"

She never answered...