Disability jokes

If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"

I was playing football and this guy comes to me, he was in a wheelchair.

We started playing rocket league.

What do you call a disabled Arab?

Artoo-Detoo (R2-D2).

I pushed a man in a wheelchair into a fire. Now we call him "hot wheels."

Today I was at PE, and I saw a kid in a wheelchair. I threw a basketball at him, and I yelled, "Rocket League!"

My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.

Stephen Hawking would be a bad Pokemon.

He'd always be paralyzed, and his only move would be tackle!

Me: My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday, and I had her wheelchair.

Me: Guess who came crawling right back?

What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.

Why did Steven Hawking's snot not go to heaven?

Because there is no ramp to heaven.

Why did the one-handed man cross the road?

To get to the second-hand store!

Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms.

Knock, knock. Who's there?

Not Bob.

What do you call the girl with no arms and no legs?

Names.

Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They stuck her in a round room and told her to find the penny in the corner.

Why did the rapist go after the mute? It would be a silent attack.

My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are up.

What do you call someone in a wheelchair during a California fire?

A steamed vegetable.

What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking during a house fire.

What were Stephen's last words? “Battery low.”