Disability jokes

It’s sad because with all these mean jokes Stephen hawkings can’t even Stand up for himself

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It don't matter what you call it. It ain't coming.

How did Helen Keller's mom punish her? She put her in a circular room and told her to find the corner.

I got a handjob from a blind woman the other day. She said, "It's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand." I said, "No love, you're just pulling my leg."

Kid asks, "What is dark humor?" Me *points*, "See that guy across the street..." Kid: "I can't... I'm blind." Me: "Exactly."

Why has Stephen Hawking stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector.

What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker?

Hop in.

What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.

What's it called if you give a kid in a wheelchair a ball? Rocket League.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite type of comedy? Stand up.

I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

I did a bungee jump for charity recently. It was called "spastics on elastics."

This girl told me people call her ugly because she is disabled. I told her to stand up for herself.

What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?

Nothing.

What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? -- Meals on wheels.

What do you call an ice skating dwarf?

A midget spinner.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special forces.

Helen Keller walked into a bar, and a chair, and a table, and a wall.

If you watch Jaws backwards, it's a heartwarming story about a shark that gives arms and legs to disabled people.