Stephen Hawking walks into a bar... oh wait.
Disability Jokes
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it. It ain't coming.
How did Helen Keller's mom punish her? She put her in a circular room and told her to find the corner.
I got a handjob from a blind woman the other day. She said, "It's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand." I said, "No love, you're just pulling my leg."
Kid asks, "What is dark humor?" Me *points*, "See that guy across the street..." Kid: "I can't... I'm blind." Me: "Exactly."
Why has Stephen Hawking stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector.
What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker?
Hop in.
What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
What's it called if you give a kid in a wheelchair a ball? Rocket League.
I can't stand being in a wheelchair.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite type of comedy? Stand up.
I did a bungee jump for charity recently. It was called "spastics on elastics."
This girl told me people call her ugly because she is disabled. I told her to stand up for herself.
What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?
Nothing.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? -- Meals on wheels.
What do you call an ice skating dwarf?
A midget spinner.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
Helen Keller walked into a bar, and a chair, and a table, and a wall.
If you watch Jaws backwards, it's a heartwarming story about a shark that gives arms and legs to disabled people.
