Disability jokes

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

By rearranging the furniture.

How do you surprise a blind guy? Leave the plunger in the toilet.

Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? No, he hasn't either.

I used to get pushed and called lazy in school.

Man, I loved that wheelchair.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special Forces.

What do you call someone with Down Syndrome who smokes weed?

A baked potato.

What do you call the penises of gay men that are in wheelchairs?

Meals on wheels 😋😍🌭🌭🌭🌭🌭

Me: Happy birthday! I got you a Rubix cube! Friend: I hate you. Me: Why? Friend: I'm color blind.

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

She had no arms.

Why couldn't she get up?

She had no friends.

Knock Knock (Who's there?)

Not Sally...

It's said Duracell batteries are supposed to last 75 years, well Stephen, here you are.

How are orphans and blind kids similar?

They both have never seen their parents :)

In a cruel twist of irony, Stephen Hawking's favorite song was "I've Got the Power."

Stephen Hawking is such a bad role model for our kids.

He only ever looks one way when crossing the street.

I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. "What happened to your face?" I asked.

"I'm a Paralympian," he replied.

"Boxing?"

"No, ... hurdles."

What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? "Tie won shu."

Why did little sally fall off the swings?

Because she had no arms.

What did sally get for Christmas?

Gloves! Only joking...she still hasn’t opened the box.

What's black, has four wheels, and sits at the top of the stairs?

Steven Hawking after a house fire.

What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?

RC-XD incoming.

What is the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?

The wheelchair.

Helen Keller picked up a cheese grater, it was the most violent story she'd ever read.