Disability jokes
Why couldn’t Helen Keller scream when she fell off the cliff?
Because she was wearing mittens.
What do you say when a handicapped man forgets something? "He knew it like the back of his hand."
Q: Where did Helen Keller go to school? A: Anywhere she was home schooled.
How do you break up two blind guys fighting?
Yell, "My money's on the guy with the knife!"
Why is it that a physically disabled gay white male will refuse to ask his boss that is an abled bodied gay white male for an increase in his paycheck?
Since he has a very big white dick in his mouth, that could be the reason why.
What do you call a man in a wheelchair with no legs?
Geo dude.
Why can't Stephen Hawking win any arguments?
Because he can't stand up for himself.
Hi Stephen. Are you a vegetarian?
Well, you are partly right—I'm a vegetable.
My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheelchair. He is getting bullied, but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself.
What's black and at the top of the staircase? Stephen Hawking after a house fire.
So last week I gave my blind friend a cheese grater. The next two weeks he told me that was the most violent book he has ever read.
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car? IHOP
I got my son a bike for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair all day crying.
What does Can do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
What happened to Stephen Hawking after he reached Heaven? Nothing yet. He is still struggling to get up the stairway to Heaven.
My name is Bishal Khan and I can't walk.
What do blind people and an orphan have in common? Both can't see their parents.
Do you know how to confuse Helen Keller?
Put her in a room and tell her to find the corner.
How to surprise a blind man: put a plunger in the toilet!
Did you know Helen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard?
No, and neither did she.