Disability jokes
Someone booted Stephen Hawking offline. Maybe next time he will stand for the pledge/anthem.
Stephen Hawking walked into a bar.
Oh, is that how he ended up in a wheelchair?
There is this girl at school, and she gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.
Why doesn’t she stand up for herself?
Why didn’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
He couldn’t climb the stairway.
Trump should be grateful for DEI.
How else could a mentally handicapped person be elected President?
What do you call an army of autistic people?
Special forces!
I pushed my best friend's chair in class. Now I kinda feel bad that he was in a wheelchair.
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Som Ting Wong.
On one hand he was fantastic and the other a spastic. You could say he was a fantastic spastic.
What position would a man with no legs and arms play in baseball?
Home base.
My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.
What do Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie have in common?
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
Because there wasn’t a ramp.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RCXD.
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.
Do you know where Helen Keller lives?
Neither does she.
A handicapped person and an orphan get into a fight. The orphan says, "At least I have two functional legs." The handicapped person says, "At least I have two functional parents."
I’m in a wheelchair and I can do stand-up comedy, oh wait...
What happens when Helen Keller picks her nose?
She slurs her words...
What do you call a disabled man with a gun?
"Special forces."