Disability jokes
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? He can’t walkie or talkie.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.
But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.
I'm doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled.
It's called "spastics on elastics."
- Mommy, I want a bicycle!
- Shut up, Sam! You've already got your wheelchair!
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
I don't know, he hasn't opened it yet.
Memes
A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a door, and a staircase.
If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run"?
Why can't disabled people make jokes?
Well, it's called Stand-Up comedy, isn't it?
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
Did you know Hellen Keller has a pool?
Neither did she.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he's hooked up to? The computer runs.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
- They see me rolling.
A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, "If you're happy and you know it..."
The room was full of arm amputees.
What is the part of school with all the autistic people called? Downtown.
Where does a girl with one leg work?
IHOP.
What do a crippled person's legs and the Twin Towers have in common? They both went down and never came back up.
What did the woman with no hands get for Christmas? No idea. She hasn't opened her present yet.
What do you call an Asian who can't hear?
Wha U Sai
What did Hellen Keller do when she fell in a hole?
She screamed until her hands got tired.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar... oh wait.