Disability jokes
You didn't know that Helen Keller is dead? It's fine; neither does she.
There’s this girl who gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.
Why don’t she stand up for herself?
Why does everyone think Stephen Hawking is drunk?
Because he can't even walk.
Why did the paraplegic cross the road?
Because they didn't have any handicapped parking spots on his side.
If you are disabled and a comedian, is it called stand-down or sit-up?
Why can't Stephen Hawking be the real Slim Shady?
Because he can't stand up, can't stand up.
Numb Butt Wheelchair Club: No Feeling, No Problem!
How do you make a disabled person cry?
Let's go play tag!
What do blind people take for granted? Sight.
"Actions speak louder than words."
This doesn't apply to Stephen Hawking, however...
What do you call a blind person driving a car?
Died.
What motorway lane does Stephen Hawking use?
Hard shoulder.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a tap?
The tap can run.
What do you call a pool full of disabled people?
Vegetable soup.
Put Helen Keller in George Floyd's position. How would she cry out for help? Would she just moan, or would she try to do sign language?
What do you call a well endowed gay male who is also in a wheelchair?
Meals on wheels.
Did you walk up Stephen Hawking's drive?
Don’t worry, he didn’t either.
When a sign says "Do Not Walk on the Grass," it does not apply to Stephen Hawking.
I asked this kid for a high five, but he could not reach my hand.
Stephen Hawking trying to climb the stairway to heaven.