Disability jokes
Kid: "Hey dad, what's dark humor?"
Dad: "Go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him."
Kid: "But dad, I don't have any legs or arms."
Dad: "Exactly, son."
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.
But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.
I'm doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled.
It's called "spastics on elastics."
- Mommy, I want a bicycle!
- Shut up, Sam! You've already got your wheelchair!
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
I don't know, he hasn't opened it yet.
What is the part of school with all the autistic people called? Downtown.
A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a door, and a staircase.
If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run"?
Why can't disabled people make jokes?
Well, it's called Stand-Up comedy, isn't it?
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
What do a crippled person's legs and the Twin Towers have in common? They both went down and never came back up.
Did you know Hellen Keller has a pool?
Neither did she.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he's hooked up to? The computer runs.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
- They see me rolling.
A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, "If you're happy and you know it..."
The room was full of arm amputees.
Where does a girl with one leg work?
IHOP.
What did Hellen Keller do when she fell in a hole?
She screamed until her hands got tired.
What did the woman with no hands get for Christmas? No idea. She hasn't opened her present yet.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar... oh wait.
What do you call an Asian who can't hear?
Wha U Sai