Disability jokes

All these jokes are so offensive, Mr. Hawking just won’t stand for it.

What's black, has four wheels, and sits at the top of the stairs?

Steven Hawking after a house fire.

What is the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?

The wheelchair.

Why can't blind people eat fish?

Because it's sea food.

Helen Keller walked into a bar, and a table, and chairs.

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

Now that Stephen Hawking is dead, the jokes will start to roll in just like he used to.

Why did little sally fall off the swings?

Because she had no arms.

What did sally get for Christmas?

Gloves! Only joking...she still hasn’t opened the box.

Who is the best at musical chairs?

The kid in the wheelchair.

What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? -- Steven Hawking after a house fire.

What is black and screams?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

I got sent to the principal's office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire today.

Now they call him Hot Wheels.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano?

Neither has he.

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?

Head, shoulders, screws, and bolts.

Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”

Mom: “That’s not funny, you know Billy doesn’t have any arms and legs.”

Boys: “I know, we need a third base.”

I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn't fit in the pot.

I lost a race with a handicapped person today. The problem was the race was all stairs.

Gravity sure is fast.

I got my son a trampoline for his birthday.

The ungrateful boy sat in his wheelchair the whole time.

Why does Helen Keller hate the national anthem? Oh, say, can you see?