Disability jokes
What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?
A pair of gloves!
Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.
All these jokes are so offensive, Mr. Hawking just won’t stand for it.
What is the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
Why can't blind people eat fish?
Because it's sea food.
Who is the best at musical chairs?
The kid in the wheelchair.
Helen Keller walked into a bar, and a table, and chairs.
Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.
Now that Stephen Hawking is dead, the jokes will start to roll in just like he used to.
Why did little sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
What did sally get for Christmas?
Gloves! Only joking...she still hasn’t opened the box.
What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? -- Steven Hawking after a house fire.
I got sent to the principal's office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels.
My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, "see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand." He said, "But Dad I'm blind." Exactly.
What is black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
I got my son a trampoline for his birthday.
The ungrateful boy sat in his wheelchair the whole time.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire today.
Now they call him Hot Wheels.
Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano?
Neither has he.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
Head, shoulders, screws, and bolts.
Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”
Mom: “That’s not funny, you know Billy doesn’t have any arms and legs.”
Boys: “I know, we need a third base.”
I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn't fit in the pot.
A blind man had an argument with a man in a wheelchair. The man in a wheelchair made fun of him saying, "look, there's a spider." The blind man simply said, "Step on it."