Disability jokes
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a campfire and shouted out "Hot Wheels!"
What do you call a disabled person that can walk?
Enabled.
Mom: See that guy over there with no hands, tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly!
Did you know that Helen Keller had a pet monkey?
No.
Neither did she.
How did Stephen Hawking become a billionaire?
He won the F1 Wheelchair race.
Son: Daddy, what's dark humor?
Dad: See that man over there with no arms or legs? Go tell him to stand up and clap.
Son: But Daddy, I'm blind.
Dad: Exactly.
Q: What is the hardest part of a vegetable to swallow?
A: A wheelchair.
What do you call something that has 50 legs but can't walk? 25 disabled people!
What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?
They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"
What is a guide dog 🐶 that cannot walk? A useless guide 🐶.
I wish we could implant all parts because I could have used some car parts from Stephen Hawking after he died.
What do you call a person with only one arm?
Half-assed.
A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while and says: "Long time no see!"
I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.
It didn't work.
There may be hope for Stephen Hawking yet.
His nose runs.
I whopped my daughter's butt because she doesn't listen.
I now have a court date for child abuse and crimes against a deaf person.
What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?
VEGETABLE OIL!
How do you know when your vegetables are completely cooked?
The wheelchair rises to the top.
Why can't blind people fish?
Because it was "see food."
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite band?
The Rolling Stones.