Disability jokes

I’m in a wheelchair and I can do stand-up comedy, oh wait...

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite drink?

His dribble.

What did the man say to the deaf kid? He said...

What time is it when you cannot walk? Time to get a wheelchair 🦽.

What part of "Another One Bites the Dust" do you sing to a disabled person to make fun of them? "I'm standing on my own two feet."

This disabled girl started rolling after me, so I ran to the stairs. 🤣🤣 LOL

A blind comedian walks into a room, or did he? Dun, dun, dun!

I asked my brother who is autistic how he found his gf. He said on a special website.

Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?

Because he can’t do stand up.

I murdered my friend's brother because he kept saying "HEE HEE" like Michael Jackson when I was trying to have a serious conversation. I just found out he was disabled. That's a THRILLER.

Why does Helen Keller use her left hand to play with herself?

So she can moan with her right hand.

💪 💪 🏋️‍♂️ What do you get when you cross a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a bukkake slut, and a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a sex worker?

Cum Junkie.

What’s Stephen Hawkins favourite shampoo and conditioner?

Head and shoulders.

Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.

How did Helen Keller know she went to hell?

She didn't.

Why are disabled people screwed?

Because you can't run or hide!

Aren't paraplegics just plegics who can fly?

Stephen Hawking is as broke as his legs.

I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."

Why could the blind man not see?

Answer: Because he is blind.