Disability jokes
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?
An RCXD (remote control explosive).
I once fought with a man in a wheelchair.
He couldn't stand a chance.
I told my new girlfriend that my mother is deaf.
So she would have to speak loudly and slowly.
I told my mother that my new girlfriend is disabled. Now we wait.
I can't find out where Stephen Hawking is from, I just can't place his accent.
How do you confuse Helen Keller? You rearrange the furniture and glue doorknobs to the walls.
Why can't Stephen Hawking be a Rocket League car? Because he can't jump for an aerial.
My school is on fire today, and I pushed a kid in a wheelchair down the stairs and shouted, "Hot Wheels!"
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at your front door?
Matt.
I met a kid with Down syndrome the other day. He told me he was into rock music. He told me his favorite song was "Down With The Syndrome." Kinda drooled while attempting to sing it.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't coming.
What do you call a retard in a house fire?
Flame Retardant.
Son: Mom, what is dark humor?
Mom: Son, do you see that man trying to tie his shoe with no hands?
Son: Mother, you know I'm blind and can't see!!
Mom: Exactly!
What shampoo does Stephen Hawkings use?
Head & Shoulders.
I threw a paralyzed kid into the fireplace and called him hotwheels.
What did the blind man fight in the bar?
The coat rack.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.
What do you call a hot tub full of special ed students?
Vegetable Soup.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair. 😎
What's a retard's favorite rock band? Syndrome of a Down.
A blind guy walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. He then picks his dog up by the tail and starts to swing him around. The bartender asks him, "Hey man, what the hell you doing?"
Blind guy says, "Just looking around."