Disability jokes
Helen Keller walked into a bar...
And into a table, and into a chair.
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it's a find-a-word. 😂🤣
Which one gets bullied the most, autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
How did Helen Keller's mom punish her? Rearranged the furniture.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on pot?
Pot wheels.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
When Stephen Hawking died, he saw the stairway to Heaven.
He thought to himself, "Oh God, this is awkward!"
What do you call terrorists in a wheelchair?
An RCXD.
Why is Helen Keller's snatch always sore?
She wipes with a Brillo pad.
This mute kid was getting made fun of. I told him to speak up for himself.
Times are hard at the moment for people on disability benefits. I’ve got a friend who’s a dwarf...
...and he’s struggling to put food on the table.
What runs faster than Stephen Hawking in his wheelchair?
His Internet.
Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind, too.
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Som Ting Wong.
I get knocked down, but I get up again, as long as I have 46 chromosomes.
There was a disabled kid at my door. He said, "I'm selling some cookies, want to buy one?" I said, "Well, if you stand up, sure."
Hello, which do y'all think is more embarrassing to have, is it autism or Down syndrome?
What do you call an army of disabled people?
Special forces.
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.