Disability Jokes

Why can't Stephen Hawking be a Rocket League car? Because he can't jump for an aerial.

I went to a park, then I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair, then screamed "Rocket League!"

How do you confuse Helen Keller? You rearrange the furniture and glue doorknobs to the walls.

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at your front door?

Matt.

I met a kid with Down syndrome the other day. He told me he was into rock music. He told me his favorite song was "Down With The Syndrome." Kinda drooled while attempting to sing it.

Once upon a time, there was a woman named Sarah who woke up one morning to find her husband and his wheelchair missing. She searched high and low, but they were nowhere to be found. Desperate to find them, she put up posters all over town offering a reward.

A yellow sign with black stripes. It says "Attention" at the top, followed by "Husband and wheelchair missing!" and "Reward for wheelchair". At the bottom there is small print "follow me on Instagram for more @goingonectwicesold".

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't coming.

What do you call a retard in a house fire?

Flame Retardant.

Son: Mom, what is dark humor?

Mom: Son, do you see that man trying to tie his shoe with no hands?

Son: Mother, you know I'm blind and can't see!!

Mom: Exactly!

I threw a paralyzed kid into the fireplace and called him hotwheels.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

He lost internet connection.

What did the blind man fight in the bar?

The coat rack.

What do you call a hot tub full of special ed students?

Vegetable Soup.

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?

The wheelchair. 😎

A blind guy walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. He then picks his dog up by the tail and starts to swing him around. The bartender asks him, "Hey man, what the hell you doing?"

Blind guy says, "Just looking around."

I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall, and when I got out, a handicapped man told me that I was an a**hole. I told him, "Bet you won't stand up and say that to my face," and then he broke down.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

He rolled too far away from the outlet on the wall.

So I didn't want my mom going through my laptop, so I put a touch screen on it where you just have to tap the screen to unlock it. Jokes on her, she doesn't have any fingers.