Disability jokes

Helen Keller

How do you confuse Helen Keller? You rearrange the furniture and glue doorknobs to the walls.

  • 4
  • Guy

    What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at your front door?

    Matt.

    Down Syndrome

    I met a kid with Down syndrome the other day. He told me he was into rock music. He told me his favorite song was "Down With The Syndrome." Kinda drooled while attempting to sing it.

    Memes

    Dog

    What do you call a dog with no legs?

    It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't coming.

    Dark Humor

    Son: Mom, what is dark humor?

    Mom: Son, do you see that man trying to tie his shoe with no hands?

    Son: Mother, you know I'm blind and can't see!!

    Mom: Exactly!

    Blind guy

    A blind guy walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. He then picks his dog up by the tail and starts to swing him around. The bartender asks him, "Hey man, what the hell you doing?"

    Blind guy says, "Just looking around."

    Handicap stall

    I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall, and when I got out, a handicapped man told me that I was an a**hole. I told him, "Bet you won't stand up and say that to my face," and then he broke down.

    Mom

    So I didn't want my mom going through my laptop, so I put a touch screen on it where you just have to tap the screen to unlock it. Jokes on her, she doesn't have any fingers.

    Wheelchair kid

    My friend and I were joking about a kid in a wheelchair, and another kid came up and said to the wheelchair kid, "You should stand up for yourself."

    Charity

    I'm starting a new charity where homosexuals help the extremely handicapped.

    I'm calling it "Fruits and Vegetables".

    Drunk people

    An Indian guy and an American guy in a wheelchair met in a bar for drinks.

    The American guy got drunk and fell on the sidewalk.

    The Indian guy got drunk and walked away.