Disability jokes
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it's not coming anyways.
What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Black.
How do you punish a blind guy?
You leave a plunger in the toilet.
What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
How does a blind person know when a skydive has finished?
The dog lead went slack.
Memes
If Stephen Hawking has a heart attack, do you take him to Halfords or A&E?
This is really mean...
A man put a blind man in a circular room and said, "Your dinner's in the corner."
I went to a park, then I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair, then screamed "Rocket League!"
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
What first went through Sally's head when the Nazis came? A bullet.
Where did Sally go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.
What did Sally get for Christmas? A bike.
You know what’s impossible?
Steven Walking.
Why is Helen Keller's child blind too? She always fed it with a fork!
Me walking in to the office:
Principal: Tell me, what did you do?
Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...
I've just started reading my first ever Braille horror story, and I think that something scary is about to happen. I can feel it.
Why couldn't Sally write with the pen? (Friend: Idk, why?) Because she had no arms.
Why couldn't Sally play Tennis? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Yes, she had no arms.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) No, Joe pushed her.
Why couldn't Sally pick up the box? (Friend: *Some weird guess*) Because she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Because she got hit by a bus.
Knock Knock. (Friend: Who's there?) Not Sally.
Hellen Keller walked into a bar... then a table... then a chair.
So Steven Hawking walks into a bar...
Oh, wait.
So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog.
When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
What do you call it when a person with Down syndrome gets friendzoned?
Chromozoned.
How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? They handed her a basketball and told her to “read this book”.
How does Hellen Keller drive?
With one hand on the wheel and the other on the road.