Disability jokes
How to punish a blind kid, rearrange his bedroom.
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies?
The Windows shutdown sound plays.
They have a new line of socks for paraplegics.
They are so comfortable they can't even feel them.
What is the one thing cripples can't do? ... Stand-up comedy.
My friend was on a wheelchair... he committed suicide yesterday. I remember when I met him last time, he told us a good joke and I appreciated him and told him to become a stand-up comedian.
Memes
Shhhhhh... he's having a happy autistic boy moment
What has 4 wheels, 2 legs, and loves his shoulder?
Stephen Hawking.
What do you call disabled people that follow politics?
A special interest group.
Why couldn't Helen Keller eat her Big Mac?
She was too busy trying to read the sesame seeds.
Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?
All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
My friend and I were walking down the street, and we saw this one disabled kid getting bullied by three other kids. Urgently, we sprinted over to help. He had no chance against the five of us.
How do you punish Helen Keller?
You leave the plunger in the toilet.
Why don't blind people skydive?
Because it scares their dogs too much!
I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia, fuck!
Q. What's a disabled person's favorite band?
A. System of a Down's syndrome.
I'm trying to come up with a set-up for an amputee joke, but I'm stumped.
Have you walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
Oh, neither did he.
How do you punish a blind guy?
You leave a plunger in the toilet.
What’s better than winning a medal at the Paralympics?
Being able to walk.
What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Black.
Helen Keller deaf-initely faked it!