Disability jokes
How to punish a blind kid, rearrange his bedroom.
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies?
The Windows shutdown sound plays.
They have a new line of socks for paraplegics.
They are so comfortable they can't even feel them.
What is the one thing cripples can't do? ... Stand-up comedy.
My friend was on a wheelchair... he committed suicide yesterday. I remember when I met him last time, he told us a good joke and I appreciated him and told him to become a stand-up comedian.
Memes
What has 4 wheels, 2 legs, and loves his shoulder?
Stephen Hawking.
What do you call disabled people that follow politics?
A special interest group.
Why couldn't Helen Keller eat her Big Mac?
She was too busy trying to read the sesame seeds.
Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?
All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
My friend and I were walking down the street, and we saw this one disabled kid getting bullied by three other kids. Urgently, we sprinted over to help. He had no chance against the five of us.
How do you punish Helen Keller?
You leave the plunger in the toilet.
Why don't blind people skydive?
Because it scares their dogs too much!
I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia, fuck!
Q. What's a disabled person's favorite band?
A. System of a Down's syndrome.
Have you walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
Oh, neither did he.
I'm trying to come up with a set-up for an amputee joke, but I'm stumped.
What’s better than winning a medal at the Paralympics?
Being able to walk.
I was beefing with a dude in a wheelchair, so I took his wheelchair and threw it across the street and told him, "Walk it off, you will be fine."
Helen Keller deaf-initely faked it!
What do you call a Chinese person with no legs?
Lim Ping.