Disability jokes

What did the Asian parents say when they had a disabled kid?

Sum ting wong.

Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?

No, neither has he.

What do you call a person with Down syndrome in the military?

Special Forces.

I met another kid with Down syndrome the other day and attempted to talk to him. But my mom showed up and was asking me why I am talking to the mirror.

I like my women like I like my traction control: disabled.

What do you call a disabled person called Gerald?

GERALD!

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

Knock, knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally.

I gave a deaf kid air pods for his birthday.

Why did Helen Keller’s dog run away?

You’d run away too if your name was afjlkawihrs gdfn wjasidphbfvnas icxhuvbjsdlk m.nd;fuoxcghkfjckoSZ: lF,.XMAVUDOXICUGJNWLFXCMV CKLSAXHV IJADHXC;IVKSA.

So the other day, I saw a child in a wheelchair.

He was getting bullied a lot, so I came up and said, "Why don't you stand up to those bullies?"

Do you know who Helen Keller is?

Neither did she.

My friend is blind so he can "no see."

What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?

How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?

How does a blonde punish her blind son? She takes away his TV privileges.

How does a blonde punish her deaf son? She takes away his telephone privileges.

How does a blonde punish her paraplegic son? She gives him a spanking.

Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?

Because he couldn’t climb up the stairs to heaven.

What do you call autistic people with guns? Special forces.

Stephen Hawking tried comedy.

His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."

I spat on a blind kid and told him it was raining.

I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.

I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.