Disability jokes

What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?

Christopher Walken.

Is it okay to call a special ed kid late to class a little tardy?

What's black and screams?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.

What's a Parkinson's victim's least favorite song?

Taylor Swift - "Shake it Off".

Kid: "What's dark humor?"

Mom: "You see that man over there without arms? Tell him to clap."

Kid: "I am blind, Mom."

Mom: "Exactly."

So I became a teacher in a school for disabled children.

A kid wanted to ask me a question, so I told him to stand while he address me. 💀

Why did Helen Keller sign the n-word?

She thought she was black.

What’s the worst song to play in front of a vegetable? “James Brown - Get on Up”

What’s the worst song to play in front of a handicapped kid? “Van Halen - Jump”

What's the worst song to play in front of a black man in Minneapolis? “I Can't Breathe - Juice Wrld”

Hot women with big boobs work at Hooters, but where does a handicap woman work?

IHOP.

Where do people with no legs go to have fun?

Legnoland.

What was the one test Stephen Hawking couldn't pass? The beep test.

Q: What was Hellen Keller's favorite game as a kid?

A: Musical chairs.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They put her in a circle room and told her to find the penny in the corner.

Why did Susie get cut from the soccer team? She has no legs!

Who broke into my house by kicking down my door? Not Susie... But she still is in my basement, since she can't run!

What's the worst part about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car?

Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half.

What do you call physically handicapped, homophobic, heterosexual men and women in wheelchairs?

Mixed nuts.

What do you call a blind German? A Nazi (Not-see)!

Down Syndrome is already a joke.

Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.