Disability jokes

Why did Helen Keller sign the n-word?

She thought she was black.

So I became a teacher in a school for disabled children.

A kid wanted to ask me a question, so I told him to stand while he address me. 💀

Kid: "What's dark humor?"

Mom: "You see that man over there without arms? Tell him to clap."

Kid: "I am blind, Mom."

Mom: "Exactly."

I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.

What's a Parkinson's victim's least favorite song?

Taylor Swift - "Shake it Off".

Hot women with big boobs work at Hooters, but where does a handicap woman work?

IHOP.

Q: What was Hellen Keller's favorite game as a kid?

A: Musical chairs.

What was the one test Stephen Hawking couldn't pass? The beep test.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They put her in a circle room and told her to find the penny in the corner.

Why did Susie get cut from the soccer team? She has no legs!

Who broke into my house by kicking down my door? Not Susie... But she still is in my basement, since she can't run!

What's the worst part about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car?

Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half.

What do you call physically handicapped, homophobic, heterosexual men and women in wheelchairs?

Mixed nuts.

What do you call a blind German? A Nazi (Not-see)!

Down Syndrome is already a joke.

Where do people with no legs go to have fun?

Legnoland.

Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.

My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are always up.

Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.

What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement.

A limbless criminal has just been identified. Police say the suspect is armed and on the run.