Disability jokes
How Stephen Hawking died: he drove too far away from the wall and the cord got unplugged.
He died because he rolled too far away from the wall outlet and got unplugged.
What has no legs and a human body?
A human with no legs.
What do you call a kid on a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels.
I have cripple and depression.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
Why does the kid in the wheelchair get bullied all the time?
Because he can’t stand up for himself.
Do you know how to confuse Helen Keller?
Put her in a room and tell her to find the corner.
What do you do with a dog that has no legs?
Take him for a drag.
He went too far away from the wall, and he got unplugged.
What falls from the tree first, the autistic retard or the apple?
The apple, because the rope caught the autistic retard.
Today I feel Qatari. Today I feel Arab. Today I feel African. Today I feel gay. Today I feel disabled. Today I feel a migrant worker.
What’s black and rings the doorbell?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
If you think Tracy Latimer's murder was in any way justified, put on your helmet 'cause you're about to miss the short bus.
Which is more disabling, is it autism or Down syndrome?
I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"
I pushed a disabled kid over, and he came crawling back to me.
Do you know that Helen Keller had a dog?
Neither did she.
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
No.
Neither has he.
I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, it’s been two years, and he still hasn’t gotten into the van.