Disability jokes

School

Q: Where did Helen Keller go to school? A: Anywhere she was home schooled.

House

Have you ever stepped foot in Stephen Hawking's house? 'Cause he hasn't either.

Word

What were Stephen Hawking's last words?

The Windows XP log out sound.

Dog

What do you call a dog without legs?

Nothing, it won't come either way.

Man

What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled by a boat?

Skip.

Helen Keller

Why can't Helen Keller drive?

'Cause she's a woman.

No, really. Why can't she drive?

Because she died.

Kid

Why are autistic kids a stupid, brainless, special freak?

Arab

Today I feel Qatari. Today I feel Arab. Today I feel African. Today I feel gay. Today I feel disabled. Today I feel a migrant worker.

Mama

Yo mama so dumb, when I told her my blind friend couldn’t see, she said, “Open yo eyes!”

School

Q: Where did Helen Keller go to school?

A: Anywhere she was homeschooled.

Body

What did Stephen Hawking love that couldn't move?

Himself, ps particularly his whole body. I was gonna say his legs, but then I remembered he was fully paralysed and was like shitttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.

Husband

Why is Stephen Hawking a bad husband?

Because he doesn't stand up for his wife.

Helen Keller

How do Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They tell her to sit in the corner in a circular room.

Time

What time is it when you cannot walk? Time to get a wheelchair 🦽.