Disability jokes
Did you know that Helen Keller had a twin?
Yeah, Helen ate her in the womb.
There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.
She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."
Son said, "But I can't see."
Mom said, "That's the point."
What’s the difference between a retard and a zombie? Nothing much, they both dribble, moan, are hungry, walk weirdly, and it takes a bullet in the head to put them both down.
How does Helen Keller smell?
Pretty bad, she's dead!
Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
Not Bob.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He lost WiFi connection.
What do you say to a depressed special kid?
“Why so down?”
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Susie.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A TANK!
What gang was Stephen Hawking in? The Crips.
Guy: Are you depression? 'Cause you're crippling me.
Car driver: No, I'm the guy that hit you with his car and crippled you.
Guy: Don't worry, I was already crippled because I got crippling depression.
Why is falone mentally disabled?
Who knows, and quite frankly, who cares?
Stop making autism jokes, calling us "retards." It is not cool.
Why did Stephen Hawking roll across the road? Because he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.
What do Stephen Hawking and the Wicked Witch have in common?
If you throw water over them, they both die...
What do you call disabled people in a hot tub? -- Vegetable soup.
A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.
He asks her why she is crying, and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her, then jogs away.
The next day, he finds her crying again, and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.
On the third day, the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up and throws her in the pond, telling her, "You're fucked now!"
What's the best thing about dating a blind chick?
She can't identify you.
What's the worst thing about having a Congolese friend?
He always needs a hand.
What do you call a man with no hands? Clapless.