Disability jokes

Song

What’s Stephen Hawking's favorite song? Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes.

Wheelchair

You're so lucky bullies don't have a chance to push you around anymore?

They'll get theirs when they're in a wheelchair?

Language

Why do you joke about Helen Keller?

She was a good person, and she learned sign language and learned to talk. So why DO YOU MAKE FUN OF HER!

Man

What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled by a boat?

Skip.

Dog

Why did Helen Keller’s dog run away?

I would too if my name was Braille.

School

Q: Where did Helen Keller go to school? A: Anywhere she was home schooled.

House

Have you ever stepped foot in Stephen Hawking's house? 'Cause he hasn't either.

Word

What were Stephen Hawking's last words?

The Windows XP log out sound.

Dog

What do you call a dog without legs?

Nothing, it won't come either way.

Helen Keller

Why can't Helen Keller drive?

'Cause she's a woman.

No, really. Why can't she drive?

Because she died.

Mama

Yo mama so dumb, when I told her my blind friend couldn’t see, she said, “Open yo eyes!”

Arab

Today I feel Qatari. Today I feel Arab. Today I feel African. Today I feel gay. Today I feel disabled. Today I feel a migrant worker.

School

Q: Where did Helen Keller go to school?

A: Anywhere she was homeschooled.