Disability jokes
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
The Windows XP log out sound.
What do you call a dog without legs?
Nothing, it won't come either way.
Do you think Stephen Hawking could ever plug his Instagram or anything?
What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled by a boat?
Skip.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
'Cause she's a woman.
No, really. Why can't she drive?
Because she died.
Do you know Helen Keller?
Yes.
Did you know she had a dog?...... Neither did she!
Why are autistic kids a stupid, brainless, special freak?
Today I feel Qatari. Today I feel Arab. Today I feel African. Today I feel gay. Today I feel disabled. Today I feel a migrant worker.
Yo mama so dumb, when I told her my blind friend couldn’t see, she said, “Open yo eyes!”
Q: Where did Helen Keller go to school?
A: Anywhere she was homeschooled.
What did Stephen Hawking love that couldn't move?
Himself, ps particularly his whole body. I was gonna say his legs, but then I remembered he was fully paralysed and was like shitttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad husband?
Because he doesn't stand up for his wife.
How do Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They tell her to sit in the corner in a circular room.
What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What do you call someone with no legs?
Disabled.
What time is it when you cannot walk? Time to get a wheelchair 🦽.
Why did he not love anymore? His battery died.
Steven Hawking was going to jerk off, nope. 😂
Have you seen the inside of Helen Keller's houses? She hasn't.
Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
You'd run away too if your name was OAhHhPrhhHK.