Disability jokes
Hellen Keller once said, "love is not something you see or hear, it is something you feel," but of course she said it like this "fbfebsovbforbw urbwbwvorb."
Why did little Susie fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms or legs.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Susie.
I had to share a table recently with a disabled man. When I asked him for the salt and pepper, he had to make two trips.
Stephen Hawking tried comedy.
His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."
Why did Steven Hawking die?
A quad rasher ran him over.
Imagine Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady but could not stand up.
What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him having sex? "You're wheelie good at this!"
What does a disabled disco play?
"When your legs don’t work like they used to before."
How do you punish a blind kid?
Rearrange the furniture.
Stephen Hawking's not dead, he is just in airplane mode.
I met another kid with Down syndrome the other day and attempted to talk to him. But my mom showed up and was asking me why I am talking to the mirror.
They don’t have to invest a lot into the Stephen Hawking wax statue, though.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He lost WiFi connection.
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms and no legs?
Matt!
What do a crippled person's legs and the Twin Towers have in common? They both went down and never came back up.
Why did Steven Hawking go to hell, not heaven?
Because there is a stairway to heaven, but there is not one to hell.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
I went to the principal's office because I gave a deaf kid ear pods for his birthday.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!
Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
I had a girlfriend who was a below-the-knee amputee. We broke up because she just couldn't keep her legs closed.