Disability jokes
God took away Stephen Hawking's privileges.
Did you walk up Stephen Hawking's drive?
Don’t worry, he didn’t either.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally.
Why did Stephen Hawking cross the road?
Oh wait, he didn't.
Where does Stephen Hawking go when he breaks his arm? PC World.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
No? Neither did he.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?
Head and Shoulders.
"Did you guys make sure Stephen was plugged in?"
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one liners?
He can't do stand-ups.
The two biggest dyslexic guy lies: "My check is in your mouth," and "I won't come in your mailbox."
What do you call autistic people with guns? Special forces.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
Why did the blind man cross the road?
Don't ask me, he can't even see where he's going.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His PC overheated.
Little Johnny has no arms. Knock, knock, who's there?
Not Johnny.
How do you kidnap Stephen Hawking?
Shut off his computer.
Stephen Hawking can pass any test, but there's one test he can't pass. It is the PACER test.
What does Stephen Hawking put his food in? A microwave.
What do you call a disabled person in a fire?
"HOT WHEELS!"
What does the dumb kid say to the blind kid?
"Long time no see!"