Disability jokes

Battery

Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?

Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.

Guy

Guy with no arms: Even if I don’t have arms, I can do everything you can do.

🎵if you’re happy and you know it clap your hands🎵

Hand

What do you say when a handicapped man forgets something? "He knew it like the back of his hand."

Man

Why did the blind man cross the road?

Don't ask me, he can't even see where he's going.

Line

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite line in Rambo?

"Don't push me."

Wheelchair

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?

At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.

Anthem

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite football anthem?

You'll Never Walk Alone.

Stephen Hawking

What happens to Stephen Hawking when he logs in to his account on Google when it says, "I am not a robot?"

Sign

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Knock knock.

WHO'S THERE?

*Starts putting up hand signs.*

Game

What was Helen Keller's favorite game when she was a kid?

I spy.

Kid

What does the dumb kid say to the blind kid?

"Long time no see!"

Wheelchair

Me going to the principal's after telling the kid with a wheelchair to stand up for himself.