Disability jokes
No matter how hard I try, I will never be a stand-up comedian.
How did Helen Keller dance? Very Bad.
How did Helen Keller draw? With her hand.
Why did Hellen Keller's dogs run away?
Because wouldn't you runway too if your name was djhdhekdndyekedhekekfjkfurir?
Why did the disabled kid cross the road?
(Why?)
He can't.
Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?
Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.
I never get off on the wrong foot.
Did you know why they added Alexa for Stephen Hawking?
Someone booted Stephen Hawking offline. Maybe next time he will stand for the pledge/anthem.
What do you get when you light Stephen Hawking on fire? A fried PC.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?
'cus there was only a stairway to heaven!
How does Stephen Hawking get clean?
He uses Tesco car wash.
What happened to Stephen Hawking after he reached Heaven?
Nothing yet. He is still struggling to get up the stairway to Heaven.
Stephen Hawking died because he got unplugged from his Ethernet cord.
I bought my sister a trampoline. She sat in her wheelchair and cried.
Guy with no arms: Even if I don’t have arms, I can do everything you can do.
🎵if you’re happy and you know it clap your hands🎵
The best news about a pretty girl with special needs is that you can get her to do exactly what you want her to do.
I mean, she probably thinks receiving oral is like 100% blood sausage coming right at her.
"Say what you want about the deaf."
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
What do you call a Censor with Autism?
A Censorspaz.
Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”