Disability jokes
Stephen Hawking can pass any test, but there's one test he can't pass. It is the PACER test.
What does Stephen Hawking put his food in? A microwave.
Stephen Hawking talks by clicks. Two clicks is "hi," and five is "dab me up."
My speech impediment has gotten so worse that I stutter when typing sentences.
Why did the blind man cross the road?
Don't ask me, he can't even see where he's going.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His PC overheated.
What do you call a graveyard full of disabled people?
A cabbage patch.
Little Johnny has no arms. Knock, knock, who's there?
Not Johnny.
When a deaf person has sex, do they use one hand to moan?
What was Helen Keller's favorite game when she was a kid?
I spy.
Helen Keller def faked it.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Knock knock.
WHO'S THERE?
*Starts putting up hand signs.*
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite line in Rambo?
"Don't push me."
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite football anthem?
You'll Never Walk Alone.
Rory Burrows is dyslexic.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I decided to take her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
Have you met Bofa?
Bofa deez blind kids!
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?
At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?
"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"
What Stephen Hawking doesn't know about wheelchairs isn't worth knowing.