Disability jokes
Son: Dad, what's a morbid joke?
Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him, then you will know.
Son: But Dad, I don't have arms or legs.
Father: Now you know.
What makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar?
They can't stand up for themselves.
What do you call a blind kid with an eye patch and no arms?
Names.
How do you call an autistic kid with a pistol?
Special forces.
Hellen Keller went to town riding a pony, stuck a feather in her hat, and called it an "Unnghhtpthhh!"
What’s the difference between a retard and a zombie? Nothing much, they both dribble, moan, are hungry, walk weirdly, and it takes a bullet in the head to put them both down.
I asked this kid for a high five, but he could not reach my hand.
Why did Helen Keller’s dog run away?
You’d run away too if your name was afjlkawihrs gdfn wjasidphbfvnas icxhuvbjsdlk m.nd;fuoxcghkfjckoSZ: lF,.XMAVUDOXICUGJNWLFXCMV CKLSAXHV IJADHXC;IVKSA.
Helen Keller.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck her in a round room and told her to find the penny in the corner.
This girl told me people call her ugly because she is disabled. I told her to stand up for herself.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They told her to go find the light.
A hand job from a deaf person counts as oral.
Why does Helen Keller hate the national anthem? Oh, say, can you see?
I hate it when disabled people get bullied...
... because they can't stand up for themselves.
I wish we could implant all parts because I could have used some car parts from Stephen Hawking after he died.
When a deaf person has sex, do they use one hand to moan?
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair smoking weed?
A baked potato.
How to surprise a blind man: put a plunger in the toilet!
God sent a kid to the principal's office for giving a blind kid sunglasses and said, "Don't let the sun damage your eyes!"