Disability jokes
A boxer talks with his fists.
Stephen Hawking talks with his wheelchair.
A woman asked Stephen Hawking to dance, and he replied, "I'm not much good, I have two left feet."
"Then how about Karaoke?"
To which he replied, "I have two left throats."
What Stephen Hawking doesn't know about wheelchairs isn't worth knowing.
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
Stephen Hawking had a high I.Q., but still had to learn how to be disabled.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite football anthem?
You'll Never Walk Alone.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?
"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?
At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.
At least he got D.L.A. (Disability Living Allowance), so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.
Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.
And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.
Knock knock. Who's there? Beep boop S.t.e.p.h.e.n beep boop H.a.w.k.i.n.g.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite line in Rambo?
"Don't push me."
Could never understand why people would say Stephen Hawking is a dead man walking.
What color is Stephen Hawking's house?
It's a bungalow.
On one hand he was fantastic and the other a spastic. You could say he was a fantastic spastic.
What’s the worst song to play in front of a vegetable? “James Brown - Get on Up”
What’s the worst song to play in front of a handicapped kid? “Van Halen - Jump”
What's the worst song to play in front of a black man in Minneapolis? “I Can't Breathe - Juice Wrld”
Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Knock knock.
WHO'S THERE?
*Starts putting up hand signs.*
Why haven't they put Stephen Hawking in charge yet?
Steven Hawking walks into a bar, the bartender says...
WAITTTT WHATTT