Disability jokes

I saw a kid in a wheelchair, and he was getting bullied. I said, "Stand up for yourself!"

Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.

What happens to Stephen Hawking when he logs in to his account on Google when it says, "I am not a robot?"

Have you ever seen a blind man swim?

Neither has he.

How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it's a find-a-word. 😂🤣

How do you make a blind person jealous? You ask if it's a nice day out.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special forces.

Rory Burrows is dyslexic.

A boxer talks with his fists.

Stephen Hawking talks with his wheelchair.

A woman asked Stephen Hawking to dance, and he replied, "I'm not much good, I have two left feet."

"Then how about Karaoke?"

To which he replied, "I have two left throats."

What Stephen Hawking doesn't know about wheelchairs isn't worth knowing.

They say Jesus walked on water.

That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.

Stephen Hawking had a high I.Q., but still had to learn how to be disabled.

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite football anthem?

You'll Never Walk Alone.

What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?

"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?

At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.

At least he got D.L.A. (Disability Living Allowance), so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.

Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.

And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.

Knock knock. Who's there? Beep boop S.t.e.p.h.e.n beep boop H.a.w.k.i.n.g.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite line in Rambo?

"Don't push me."