Disability jokes

I told a crippled guy he is immortal because he can't kick the bucket.

I’m in a wheelchair and I can do stand-up comedy, oh wait...

Who is the definition of a natural-born cocksucker?

A bisexual male, a homosexual male, a bisexual female, or a heterosexual female?

A physically disabled heterosexual male.

My wheelchair-bound friend was getting bullied, so I told him to stand up for himself.

Q: What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

A: Neither of them get to see their parents.

Is it still stand-up comedy if the comedian doesn't have legs?

I bought my sister a trampoline. She sat in her wheelchair and cried.

I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldn't stand for the pledge. She was in a wheelchair.

I was playing football and this guy comes to me, he was in a wheelchair.

We started playing rocket league.

If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"

How did the man with no arms commit suicide?

We'll never know - he didn't leave a note.

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair?

TIMMAHHHH!

What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?

They both cannot see their family.

My uncle hid my weed, so I hid his wheelchair.

I pushed the kid in the wheelchair down the hill, but before I did, I set his wheels on fire and called him "hot wheels."

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a campfire and shouted out "Hot Wheels!"

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special forces.

What do you call a cute boy with Down syndrome?

Awwtistic.

Why was Helen Keller truly an inspiration?

She learned how to read and write despite being from Alabama!

Hi, I gave a blind kid a gun. I told him it was a hairdryer.