When I saw a kid fall with no legs, I said, "Just walk it off!"
Disability Jokes
I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."
I can't stand disability jokes.
What part of a vegetable can't you eat? The wheelchair.
Handicapped jokes are so cruel.
I can't stand them!
My friend dumped me, so I stole their wheelchair.
Have a guess who came crawling back?
Yo mama's so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?
Because he couldn’t climb up the stairs to heaven.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food?
Runner beans.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy?
Hot Wheels.
Helen Keller walked into a bar, a chair, and a table.
How do you kidnap Stephen Hawking?
Shut off his computer.
What does Stephen Hawking put his food in? A microwave.
I pushed a disabled kid over, and he came crawling back to me.
An autistic kid.
There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.
She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."
Son said, "But I can't see."
Mom said, "That's the point."
Can a guy in a wheelchair be a stand-up comedian?
I was a sit-down comedian, then I tried to stand up. I fell.
I wished I stayed in the wheelchair.
I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and roared, "Hot wheels!"
What do you call a stripper in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
