Disability jokes

What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? Hot wheels!

Stephen Hawking's last words were, "Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down."

Son: Yo dawg, tell me a story.

Dad: Y'all motherfuckers ain't gon' believe dis shit, so there was dis fairy aight, she had wings, so she flys into a KFC, and comes out with wings, chicken wings.

Also, why did Hawking try to walk across the road? His wheelchair only goes 1 mph, so he got hit by a bus.

I get knocked down, but I get up again, as long as I have 46 chromosomes.

Why did the disabled chicken cross the road?

To get its wheelchair!

Why did Stephen Hawking cross the road?

Oh wait, he didn't.

What's the worst part about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car?

Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half.

I was in my car listening to my radio. Steve Winwood's song came on, "Just Roll With It, Baby." I said that must be one of Stephen Hawking's favorite songs; he sings it to his girlfriend.

What did the blind man say when he walked by the fish store?

"Hello Ladies!"

What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable?

The wheelchair.

How did Stephen Hawking die? Because he didn't charge his batteries.

There's a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking.

At least Stephen Hawking does something.

Did you know why they added Alexa for Stephen Hawking?

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite snack? His shoulder.

Me: Happy birthday! I got you a Rubix cube! Friend: I hate you. Me: Why? Friend: I'm color blind.

How do they execute paraplegics?

With the electric wheelchair.

I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad's half sister.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

He drove too far away from the wall.

what do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a hot tub?

steamed vegetables.

So a blind guy walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.