Disability jokes
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: you can hide, but you can’t run.
What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool? Posiedown.
How did Stephen Hawking become a billionaire?
He won the F1 Wheelchair race.
Did you know that Helen Keller had a dog?
Well, neither did she!
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She's retarded.
What do you call a paralyzed turtle?
Shell shocked.
What's the worst part about microwaving vegetables?
Fitting the wheelchair in.
Stephen Hawking went on a date last night.
She left after 15 minutes, complaining she didn't like his tone.
I should be ashamed of myself for making all these jokes at the expense of the disabled! After all, they can't even stand up for themselves.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He rolled too far away from the outlet on the wall.
What were Stephen's last words? “Battery low.”
What did the mute man tell the blind man?
Nothing.
Why couldn't Sally open the fridge?
Because she had no arms.
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?
Christopher Walken.
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.
What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
There's a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run.
Why was Stephen Hawking disappointed when he got his Christmas present? It was singing lessons.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite childhood song? "The wheels on the chair go round and round....."
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