Disability jokes
Two guys are on the playground. One guy says to the other, "Did you know that Hellen Keller had a playground in her backyard?" The other guy said, "No." The first guy says, "Neither did she."
- Mommy, I want a bicycle!
- Shut up, Sam! You've already got your wheelchair!
So Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a stool, then a table, then a door...
A blind guy and his seeing eye dog walk into a bar.
The blind guy starts swinging the dog around on the leash.
The bartender yells, "Sir, stop! What are you doing!?"
The blind guy says, "I'm just looking around."
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
What first went through Sally's head when the Nazis came? A bullet.
Where did Sally go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.
What did Sally get for Christmas? A bike.
How do you punish Helen Keller? You stick a toilet plunger in the toilet.
Why can't Helen Keller have kids? It went up too far.
How do Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They tell her to sit in the corner in a circular room.
How do you execute a retard?
The Electric Wheelchair.
Why did Annie fall from the swing?
Because she had no hands.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Annie.
What do you call a washed vegetable?
A disabled kid that needs a towel.
What do you call a group of ethnically diverse disabled people?
Seasoned vegetables.
There is a young man smoking and a woman in a wheelchair. The woman says, "Why is a young man like you smoking?" The man turns around and says, "Why the fuck are you wearing trainers?"
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? No, he hasn't either.
What do you call a Spanish footballer without legs?
Gracias.
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road?
Because it was disabled.
Why did Sarah fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sarah.
It’s sad because with all these mean jokes Stephen hawkings can’t even Stand up for himself
How does Stephen Hawking charge his computer?
How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Keyboard sex!
Why do people think Mozart was autistic?
Because he was probably retarded.
Why did Sally fall out of the swing?
She had no arms.
Why couldn’t she get up?
Because she had no friends.