Disability jokes
How were Stephen Hawking's best mates, Siri and Google?
He went too far away from the wall, and he got unplugged.
Have they tried switching him off and on again?
Stephen Hawking tried comedy.
His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."
I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" Not Suzy.
His name rhymes with walking and talking, but he can’t do either.
Why are blind people so good at being a Jedi?
They are always swinging a stick.
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
Because she didn't have any arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Susie.
What do you call a disabled Asian?
Sum Ting Wong.
Stephen Hawking + Computer = SMART!
Stephen Hawking + Shoulder = HUNGRY!
When Stephen Hawking died, he saw the stairway to Heaven.
He thought to himself, "Oh God, this is awkward!"
Why is Stephen Hawking good at skateboarding? Because he's always on the ramps.
What’s made of wood and is zig zag shaped?
Stephen Hawking's coffin.
He couldn't take the stairway to heaven; he had to take the lift.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?
Because he couldn’t go up the stairs to heaven.
Stephen Hawking didn’t die naturally, his carer just forgot to put him on charge.
If laughter is the best medicine, shouldn't we go up to disabled people and laugh at them?
Stephen Hawking was one of the best scientists ever. Now he's walking up the steps of he... No, he's not walking up the steps of heaven.
My phone was at 10%, and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen Hawking.
What's black and at the top of a staircase?
Not Stephen Hawking.