Disability jokes
What time is it when you can drive a house? Time to get a wheelchair.
Everyone is a gangster until Helen Keller hits a 3 on you.
I can't find out where Stephen Hawking is from, I just can't place his accent.
A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street.
Man in Wheelchair: *falls out of wheelchair*
Friend: Are you okay?
Man in Wheelchair: I can't feel my legs!
What did the little girl with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, she's still trying to open it...
Best way to stop a fight between deaf people?
Just turn off the lights.
If I looked like Stephen Hawking, I would also be an atheist.
What has no legs and a human body?
A human with no legs.
What did Hellen Keller do when she fell in a hole?
She screamed until her hands got tired.
What time is it when you say I can’t walk anymore? Time to get a wheelchair 🦼.
What time is it when you cannot walk? Time to get a wheelchair 🦽.
I wish I was blind.
Disabled people can help the world to get a printed copy of "Leaning Tower of Pisa," exactly leaned at an angle.
Why were Helen Keller's hands crippled?
From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman? No, seriously, why can't she drive? Because she's dead.
How do you punish Helen Keller? Just move the couch.
Have you ever stepped in Stephen Hawking's house?
Neither has he. 😂😂
Me: I want to be a stand-up comedian.
Friend: You have to be able to stand up.
Why couldn't Professor Xavier fight Magneto? Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
What can you not ride with two wheelchairs? A burger 🍔 one wheelchair.