Difference jokes
You know what the difference between Kobe Bryant and Russell Westbrook is?
He wears 0 and Kobe has 0 lives left.
What’s the difference between a fly and Lady Diana?
The sound when they hit the windshield.
What’s the difference between 69 and a family reunion?
You only see one asshole in 69.
What’s the difference between an epileptic corn shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?
The epileptic corn shucker “shucks between fits”...
What’s the difference between a woman and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.
What's the difference between you and a calendar?
Calendars got dates.
What's the difference between Nickelback and a nickel?
A nickel is actually metal.
What's the difference between an onion and a dead baby? The baby doesn't cry when you chop it.
"Knock, knock!""Who's there?""Abby."
"Abby who?""Your Mexican girlfriend."
What's the difference between a toaster and a ten-year-old Chinese girl? A Japanese soldier would regret sticking his d*ck into a toaster.
What’s the difference between a basketball player and an orphan?
One has a home to run to.
What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What's the difference between cars and grass?
They both have wheels, except for the grass.
What's the difference between me and the rest of America?
I love one and hate the other.
Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?
A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.
what's the difference between an onion and a baby?
nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
What's the difference between you and my dad? You come home.
What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?
Your job still sucks!
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.