Difference jokes
So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.
When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"
He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."
What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?
They both like lil' boys.
What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?
I can't jump off a burrito.
What's the difference between a dad and the Twin Towers? The Twin Towers went black and never came back, and the dad was black and just didn't come back.
What's the difference between me and my pencil sharpeners? Nothing, we're both broken.
Every zodiac sign has a different hairstyle except Cancer.
What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked. Orphans don't.
Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?
A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.
What’s the difference between air and a six year old?
Air has resistance.
What's the difference between a penis and the bible? Nothing, the priest shoved them both down my throat.
- Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop.
- Right. So you weigh yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool.
- Oh...that might actually be even easier.
What's the difference between Wacko Jacko and Elvis Presley?
14 number 1 hits.
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and feminism? The Twin Towers were destroyed by terrorists, while feminism was created by terrorists.
What's the difference between an emo and my clothes?
My clothes don't hang themselves.
What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle?
My girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.
Me: "What's the difference between an apple and an emo?"
Friend: "I don't know."
Me: An apple actually falls from the tree.
What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hoe? A hoe can wash her crack and sell it again.
Q: What's the difference between a fetus and an onion?
A: One makes you cry when you chop it into pieces.
What’s the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby?
Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.