Difference jokes

What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mercedes?

I don’t have a Mercedes.

How do you tell the difference between a Palestinian elementary school and a terrorist training camp?

Answer... I don't know, I just fly the drone.

what's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? the trampoline doesn't cave in when i jump on it.

What’s the difference between Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker?

They both died at 95.

What's the difference between Clint Eastwood and anal sex?

One will make your day, and the other will make your hole weak.

What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla? One of them is fat and hairy, while the other one has a functional brain (the gorilla, of course).

What's the difference between a good TV show and a gay man?

One makes your day and one makes your whole week.

What's the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.

What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Apples are actually picked.

What's the difference between an orphan and cotton?

One gets picked.

What is the difference between Putin and Hitler? Putin no longer supplies gas and Hitler gives it away for free.

What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and E.T.?

E.T. eventually went home!

A black lady goes inside the drug store and asks the pharmacist, "Do you carry tampons?" Then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "Do you want the mini pads or the maxi pads?"

And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"

And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"

And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."

What is the difference between a snow woman and a snowman?

Snowballs.

What's the difference between a baby and an onion?

One screams when I peel its skin off.

What’s the difference between a chromosome and a hormone?

You can hear a hormone.

What is the difference between a whore and an onion?

You don't cry when you chop a whore.

What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza? Pizza won't cut itself.

What's the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.