Difference jokes
What's the difference between a 14-year-old boy and an 8-year-old boy?
The 14-year-old is on top, the 8-year-old is on the bottom.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?
The microwave doesn't brown the meat.
Grammar: It's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
The radio is a player—it always gets turned on by lots of different people.
Your face.
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? None, you are both dead on the inside.
What's the difference between Arsenal and West Ham?
Arsenal can win trophies and win games.
What's the difference between Cain Dashiell and Down syndrome?
Nothing.
you.
your mom
What's the difference between a baby and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when I put my meat in it.
What's the difference between a bird and a fly?
A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird!
What's the difference between light and hard?
It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.
What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
What's the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
A painting only takes one nail to be hanged.
What's the difference between an amateur thief and a professional thief?
The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, "Sign here please."
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he's hooked up to? The computer runs.
What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.
What's the difference between Bird flu and swine flu?
For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.