Difference jokes
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? -- One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What's the difference between England and a tea bag? -- The tea bag stays longer in a cup.
What is the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You stop milking a cow after 15 years.
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? The hockey player showers after 3 periods.
What's the difference between a gay and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? -- American teenage girls get stoned *before* they have sex.
What's the difference between America and a bottle of milk?
In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.
What's the difference between tuna, a piano and glue?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? -- People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.
What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? -- The letter F.
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
What is the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? -- Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
What is the difference between butter and a blonde? - Butter is difficult to spread.
What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
What's the difference between PMS and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with the terrorist.
What's the difference between a baby and a salad?
Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your cock into a girl's mouth.
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce "unionized".
What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"