Dick's jokes

A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."

What is one thing that a physicality handicapped gay man can do better than a heterosexual female or a bisexual female that are not born physicality handicapped? Know how to perform fellatio on a man that has a very long and thick and very large dick.

My friend Richard is always bullying all the little kids in the neighborhood. He is such a dick.

Highest level of insult by a girl by seeing a guy's dick:

"I can shit bigger logs than that thing of your's" 🤣

This joke is short... like your dick!

My dick is longer than your life.

So my son came up to me and said, "Hey, Dad, I’m hungry." So I replied "Hi, Hungry, I’m Dad."

And then I feed him my dick.

How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?

Pour bleach on it.

How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.

I am gay, is that ok?

I be on top sucking dick all day. I make him bust every day.

A customer came to me and asked for condoms for tiny dicks.

If girls are vegan, why do they suck dick?

Dick sucking.

Why are Putin and Zelensky neighbors?

Apparently, a big dick needs a great set of balls next to it.

Your dick is like a shotgun, one cock and you're ready to fire.

Question: Do you know who Candis is?

Answer: Can dis dick fit in your mouth?

Tim and Tom were at work. Tim said, "I'm sick of this. I'm going to act like an idiot to get sent home." So Tim was on the roof saying, "I am a light bulb!" The boss walked in and said, "Tim, go home, you're acting like a dick!" Then Tom started packing up and Tim said, "Tom, why are you packing up?" Tom says, "I can't work in the fucking dark, can I?"

Lol, I have a teeny black dick.

What’s the difference between a prostitute and cancer?

A prostitute can beat my dick any day, but a prostitute can’t beat cancer.

Gregg says to his friend, who is a girl, and says, "Hey, umm, do you, umm, want to do something?"

And the girl says, "Umm, sure, why not?"

Gregg says, "Well, then we have to go somewhere secretive."

The girl says, "Umm, well, ok."

Gregg says, "Great!" So Gregg brings Sally to a tree so no one can see them, and then Sally says, "So what are we going to do behind this big tree?"

Gregg says, "Well pull down your pants, and I'll show ya."

Sally says, "Ok, it sounds fun!" And then Gregg pulls his pants down and tells Sally to lay on the ground. Then he puts his dick in Sally's pussy, and he goes up and down, up and down, up and down, and then Sally starts to moan more and more, and then suddenly a teacher hears her moan, and then the teacher sees what Gregg and Sally are doing, and then the teacher gets in on it, and both Gregg and Sally start fucking the teacher, and then the teacher moans, and then the whole school makes their own sex groups, and the whole school has threesomes...

THE END