Dick's jokes
A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."
What do you call a dick that doesn't fit in an asshole?
A misfit.
A hand is always sad when it sees a dick is going inside.
What is one thing that a physicality handicapped gay man can do better than a heterosexual female or a bisexual female that are not born physicality handicapped? Know how to perform fellatio on a man that has a very long and thick and very large dick.
My friend Richard is always bullying all the little kids in the neighborhood. He is such a dick.
I caught my mom licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that?" She replied, "I’m doing it for practice for who could suck the best dick contest in the neighborhood."
Why did Obama marry Michelle?
Because he's into chicks with dicks.
Highest level of insult by a girl by seeing a guy's dick:
"I can shit bigger logs than that thing of your's" 🤣
This joke is short... like your dick!
So my son came up to me and said, "Hey, Dad, I’m hungry." So I replied "Hi, Hungry, I’m Dad."
And then I feed him my dick.
My dick is longer than your life.
How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?
Pour bleach on it.
How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.
If girls are vegan, why do they suck dick?
Dick sucking.
I am gay, is that ok?
I be on top sucking dick all day. I make him bust every day.
Why are Putin and Zelensky neighbors?
Apparently, a big dick needs a great set of balls next to it.
A customer came to me and asked for condoms for tiny dicks.
Question: Do you know who Candis is?
Answer: Can dis dick fit in your mouth?
Your dick is like a shotgun, one cock and you're ready to fire.