Dick's jokes
How do you know if your sister's on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes funny.
What's worse than fingering your sister?
Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.
What do Ligma and Bofa have in common?
They both ride on my dick.
I stood in front of the mirror. "Joseph, I will love and protect you forever," my dick cooed. I looked down at it, a single crystalline tear sliding down my face. I was at peace.
What did one nut say to the other nut? "The guy in the middle's a dick!"
How do you know when you have been invited to a gay barbecue?
When you are unable to distinguish foot-long hot dogs from long and thick big dicks, regardless of skin color.
Why don't gays shop at sports authority?
They prefer Dick's.
Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."
I have no problem with prostitution.
It's like an Air BnB for your dick.
How is [someone] blessed with a 9 inch dick?
That priest is in jail now. Shout out to the church!
Yo mama is such a creep; she thought PTSD stood for "Please Touch Small Dicks."
Yo mama so fat, she sat on my dick and broke it.
McDonald's worker be like, "Hello, would you like a Mc-Dick?" (You looked down) You: "Uhh, where's my dick?"
You’ve got something on your face. Wait, no, it’s just missing something. My dick.
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.
What’s the best part of fucking Noor’s vulva (btw Noor is black)? If my dick is right beside Mara’s vulva (btw Mara’s white and so am I).
I suck my dick.
What do you call a rude math teacher with a lisp?
A mathive dick.
It's a joke, not a dick. Don't take it so hard.
These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humor. They think of humor as like a happy thing because humor makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering. If I take a joke like, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. Now that joke isn’t making light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racially discriminated against. It’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind, and that is important. Humor at its best takes the bad things in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny.
And before you go in the comments and say I agree with rape, I don’t. I hope everybody who rapes someone to have their dick cut off. My little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me, cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!