Dick's jokes

Momma

Your momma's so nasty, she sucked your daddy's dick and kissed you good night!

Dick

If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?

That number is how many dicks you suck.

Dick

My girl walks in the room in nude mode and sat on my dick. I said, "What up, your pussy?" She said, "Your dick."

Memes

Dick

A girl said, "Suck my dick," and the man went, "I have boobs."

Alien

An alien walks into a bar. There is a guy sitting next to him, and the alien touches his shoulder.

The man says, "Do that one more time and I'll run you over." The alien does it again and gets ran over. They get back in the bar and he touches him again. The man says, "Do that again and I'll chop your dick off." He touches him again. The man pulls the alien's pants down and pulls out his knife. He was astonished at what he found. There was nothing there! He looks up at the alien and looks at his finger and fainted.

Stereotype

America: Saying, "I beg your pardon" in British English is like saying; "What did you say to me you orphaned big forehead shitty ass small dick bitch?"

UK: You Americans are so fucking rude.

America: Oh, I'm SoRrY mIsTeR fAnCy PaNts πŸ‘–

Dick

China servers are up on Fortnite, yeah, check by there.

"China getting this dick in your mouth πŸ˜‚"

Hooker

How many dicks can fit inside of a hooker? I don't know, ask your wife.

Dick

This dick ain't gon to suck itself.

<😏__ \ πŸ‘‡ \ _/ πŸ†\_

Gum

A friend of mine chews gum, lays back to yawn, then chokes on the gum. Then I said, "God, what, you choking on dick?"

Name

These are some of the greatest names ever: Dixie Normous, Dixie Rekt, Ka Monmi, Ice Wallow Kum, Dick Sinsider, Anita Biggerman.

Dick

My dick is like the way home for an orphan, its length is never-ending.

Dick

My best friend said, "Can you put your dick in me?" I said, "Can I cum in you?"