Johnny, Johnny. Yes, Papa? Eating dick? Yes, Papa.
Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.
Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.
Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!
So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.
Man 1: Dude, Viagra is for pussies. Real men don’t need Viagra.
Man 2: I thought Viagra was for dicks?
It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.
Dick.
What's the difference between a joke and two dicks?
Women can't take a joke!
A Catholic gay male that is well-endowed goes to confession, and while he is inside the confessional booth, the Catholic priest is sucking his dick, and he says to the Catholic priest, "What are you doing, Father?"
And the priest says, "It's called giving a blowjob."
And the Catholic gay male says, "Why are you giving me a blowjob, Father, inside the confessional booth?"
And the Catholic priest says, "If there was no glory hole in the confessional booth, my son, it would not be called a confessional booth in the first place."
Why did the polack try writing a letter with his dick?
Because he didn't have a pen to write with.
What did the man's dick say to the man?
I just can't "hand"le it!
You know you have a domestic abuse problem when you beat your dick.
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.
Yo mama so fat, she sat on my dick and broke it.
Hell you fuck, bitch, dick!
What do Ligma and Bofa have in common?
They both ride on my dick.
Balls are balls, aka dicks.
What's that Pokemon that evolves into macargo?
Slugma.
Slugma dick.
Bobby had 54 dicks (54).
He took 33 pills a month (5433).
Once he ran out of pills, he was left with 45 dicks (543345).
(Flip the calculator once you got the full number. 543345! He's got a lot!
Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."
Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."
