Diabetes

Diabetes jokes

Beer

    • A pair of Newfoundlanders, watching TV, saw endless big-budget advertisements for mass-produced American beer.

    One Newfie turns to the other and says, "They say that stuff is the biggest seller in the States, but I don't see what the big deal is." So they buy a bottle, pour it into a plain jar and decide to get an expert opinion.

    They send a sample to a lab in St. John's to have it analyzed.

    A day later, the lab results come back: "Your horse has diabetes."

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    • TV

    • I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well."

    My brother said, "You want a cookie?"

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    • TV

    • I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well." My brother said, "You want a sugar cookie?"

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    • Jack

    • Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch some chips and sweets.

    No, he can't keep his heart rate down, and she's got diabetes.

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    • Ad

    • Ads for meds be like: Chloroform, it's Chloroform, helps with itchy eyes. Side affects may include Acute Flaccid Myelitis (AFM), AIDS (HIV/AIDS), Alphaviruses, Alzheimer's Disease, Alzheimer's Diseases (Spanish), Arboviral Encephalitis, Arthritis, Babesiois, Cancer, Unintentional injuries, Chronic lower respiratory disease, Stroke and cerebrovascular diseases, Alzheimer's disease, Diabetes, Influenza and pneumonia.

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    • Health

    • Health commercials be like:

    Serious side effects can cause:

    Nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, chills, fever, cancer, diabetes, AIDS, chlamydia, lupus, Ebola, polio, leprosy, pulmonary edema, heart attack, heart failure, yellow fever, but worst of all, DEATH!

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    • Health

    • When a fat person wants to kill themselves, why are they so worried? The diabetes will get to them sooner or later!

    Sugar

    • A "type person" is addicted to eating sugar.

    When the doctor saw this, he said,

    "From Type 2 Diabetes!"

    Get it?

    Drunk

    • Jim's car is swerving all over the road, so a cop pulls him over. "Step out of the car," says the cop. "I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test." "I can't," Jim responds. "You see, I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack." "Alright," says the cop, "then you're going to have to take a blood test." "Can't do that either," Jim responds. "I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won't stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death." "Ok," the cop answers, "then I will need a urine sample." "Sorry," says Jim, "I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low." "Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me." "Can't do that either," responds Jim. "Why not?" demanded the exasperated cop. "Well, because I'm drunk!"

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    • Obesity

    • One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"

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