Di jokes

Jack and Jill went up my ass to eat a big dildo, but Jack died cause he got hit by a brown thing.

Stephen Hawking only died because he tried to install Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.

Why'd the chicken cross the road?

That doesn't matter, we need to get the best joker to go back to posting here, he was funny but now people say they are him and ruin his good name, he was the top of the charts for over a year, so screw all these chumps! Bring back THE REAL SPECIAL!!!

Also, the chicken dies in the end, ha ha, funny, whatever.

Did Jesus die virgin? Nope, he got nailed before he died.

There were 500 bricks on a plane. One fell off.

Little Sally was crossing a river full of crocodiles. How did she survive the river? She had a gun. When she got out of the river, she died. Why? Because a brick fell on her head.

Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins. He has all power, but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea? That’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different.

Our Lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven, the promised land, only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our Lord. This is your choice: believe and go to Heaven, or don’t believe and go to Hell, an eternal death. Make a choice.

I swear bro, this time I don't want any jokes on 9/11. Like people actually died, like that shit is just plane wrong. 💀

My uncle died on 9/11. Her last words were "Allahu Akbar."

I got jealous when my phone died.

I asked the emo at my school if he got jealous when his phone died.

Did you hear about the gay Indian who died?

He was a brave sucker.

Why are the English so good at chess? Because their Queen never dies.

Some boy says 100000 digits of pi, and this other dude can't even remember the 1st one.

I wish we could implant all parts because I could have used some car parts from Stephen Hawking after he died.

What do you call a blind person driving a car?

Died.

My grandma just died from cancer.

My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”

Stephen Hawking died because his screw fell out.

What did the plate say to the other plate?

(1968) - Hellen Keller died, didn’t you hear?

No?

Well neither did she.

Little Johnny went to the beach, found some cocaine, and died. The end.