Di jokes

I was eating this girl out the other day and I tasted horse semen... I looked up at the girl and said “that’s how you died, grandma!”

Jack and Jill went up my ass to eat a big dildo, but Jack died cause he got hit by a brown thing.

Stephen Hawking only died because he tried to install Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.

Why'd the chicken cross the road?

That doesn't matter, we need to get the best joker to go back to posting here, he was funny but now people say they are him and ruin his good name, he was the top of the charts for over a year, so screw all these chumps! Bring back THE REAL SPECIAL!!!

Also, the chicken dies in the end, ha ha, funny, whatever.

Did Jesus die virgin? Nope, he got nailed before he died.

There were 500 bricks on a plane. One fell off.

Little Sally was crossing a river full of crocodiles. How did she survive the river? She had a gun. When she got out of the river, she died. Why? Because a brick fell on her head.

Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins. He has all power, but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea? That’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different.

Our Lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven, the promised land, only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our Lord. This is your choice: believe and go to Heaven, or don’t believe and go to Hell, an eternal death. Make a choice.

I should probably stop making jokes about 9/11.

My dad died to it, he was a great pilot.

I asked the emo at my school if he got jealous when his phone died.

Have you heard about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.

I got jealous when my phone died.

What do you call a blind person driving a car?

Died.

What did the plate say to the other plate?

I wish we could implant all parts because I could have used some car parts from Stephen Hawking after he died.

Stephen Hawking died because his screw fell out.

My grandma just died from cancer.

My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”

Little Johnny went to the beach, found some cocaine, and died. The end.

One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.

I swear bro, this time I don't want any jokes on 9/11. Like people actually died, like that shit is just plane wrong. 💀

My dad died in 9/11. I'll always remember his last words:

Allah hu akbar.