Device jokes
My grandpa told me I was too dependent on devices. I told him he was a hypocrite and unplugged him from his life support.
For all the Harry Potter fans:
A VPN is occlumency for smart devices, and our ISP is a legilimens.
I like my men like I like my Alexa:
By my bed and turned on.
Are you a Samsung Galaxy Note 7? Because I want to explode in you!
Be careful what you say around Indians, the red dot means they're recording.
BTW, I am one, wahahaa!
I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.
I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A RC-XD.
What will Donald Trump build in our devices?
A firewall.
An orphan made an Instagram. He did not know what that symbol was on the bottom left hand corner.
Are you Wi-Fi? Because I think I am finding a connection.
I named my iPod "Titanic." It's syncing now.
What do orphans do when they get a phone? They press the home button.
When you step on the weighing scale, it shows your phone number!
Life sucks, and so does the vacuum, and other things.
As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast. It has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.
Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you're super annoying and won't shut up.
"Why am I ugly?"
Google would like to operate your camera.
What’s missing from an orphan's iPad?
The home button.
What happens when an alien connects with your device?
The alien says on your device: ".-- . / - .-. .- ...- . .-.. / ..-. .-. --- -- / -- .- -. -.-- / -- .- -. -.-- / --. .- .-.. .- -..- -.-- ..."
Dad: If you study, then I will buy you a new iPhone.
Son: Okay, I'll do it!
5 hours later...
Son: I'm done!
Dad: I lied.
Son: So did I!