Device jokes
If you give a gator a GPS, does that make it a navigator?
What do you call a phone that talks?
A reader in a leader.
What will die immediately instead of having to suffer torture on the spike of a Judas cradle? A Geometry Dash icon.
An orphan made an Instagram. He did not know what that symbol was on the bottom left hand corner.
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.
Someone raped my ear, now I have hearing aids.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile.
Are you Wi-Fi? Because I think I am finding a connection.
Be careful what you say around Indians, the red dot means they're recording.
BTW, I am one, wahahaa!
Hey, I just found out my toaster is waterproof! :D
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is okay to use the new device. The couple agrees, and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan? Because it doesn't have a home button.
My grandpa told me I was too dependent on devices. I told him he was a hypocrite and unplugged him from his life support.
What is a type of cancer that:
Affects you. Is caused by a device. Is annoying. People won't stop talking about it?
Easy, the answer is Fortnite.
Never compare an orphan to an Apple because the Apple always gets picked.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system.
He agrees and the doctors turn the dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby and the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.
What's the difference between a phone and a girl? You can turn it off whenever you want.
My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology, so I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.