Device jokes

When you step on the weighing scale, it shows your phone number!

I named my iPod "Titanic." It's syncing now.

What will die immediately instead of having to suffer torture on the spike of a Judas cradle? A Geometry Dash icon.

Why can't orphans use a phone?

Because they don't have a home screen.

Never compare an orphan to an Apple because the Apple always gets picked.

Dad: If you study, then I will buy you a new iPhone.

Son: Okay, I'll do it!

5 hours later...

Son: I'm done!

Dad: I lied.

Son: So did I!

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.

Why? You ask.

Because it only takes one charge to bring it back to life.

What’s missing from an orphan's iPad?

The home button.

He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.

What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A RC-XD.

What is the one feature an orphan kid's phone doesn't have that mine does?

A home button.

My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.

What vibrates and is 6 inches?

A toothbrush.

What happens when an alien connects with your device?

The alien says on your device: ".-- . / - .-. .- ...- . .-.. / ..-. .-. --- -- / -- .- -. -.-- / -- .- -. -.-- / --. .- .-.. .- -..- -.-- ..."

I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.

I like my men like I like my Alexa:

By my bed and turned on.

What has 2 or 3 hands and is always right twice a day when it is broken?

A clock.

Do you know why they call me battery saver?

I get turned on when it’s below 10%.

If your controller ever dies, remember those people that died on the submersible.

Your mama so fat, the scale said, "Only one person at a time, please!"