Device jokes
When you step on the weighing scale, it shows your phone number!
I named my iPod "Titanic." It's syncing now.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
Why? You ask.
Because it only takes one charge to bring it back to life.
Dad: If you study, then I will buy you a new iPhone.
Son: Okay, I'll do it!
5 hours later...
Son: I'm done!
Dad: I lied.
Son: So did I!
What will die immediately instead of having to suffer torture on the spike of a Judas cradle? A Geometry Dash icon.
Never compare an orphan to an Apple because the Apple always gets picked.
Why can't orphans use a phone?
Because they don't have a home screen.
What’s missing from an orphan's iPad?
The home button.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A RC-XD.
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.
What is the one feature an orphan kid's phone doesn't have that mine does?
A home button.
What vibrates and is 6 inches?
A toothbrush.
My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.
What happens when an alien connects with your device?
The alien says on your device: ".-- . / - .-. .- ...- . .-.. / ..-. .-. --- -- / -- .- -. -.-- / -- .- -. -.-- / --. .- .-.. .- -..- -.-- ..."
I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.
I like my men like I like my Alexa:
By my bed and turned on.
What’s an orphan’s favorite phone? An iPhone 14 'cause it doesn’t have a home button.
Your mama so fat, the scale said, "Only one person at a time, please!"
What has 2 or 3 hands and is always right twice a day when it is broken?
A clock.
Do you know why they call me battery saver?
I get turned on when it’s below 10%.