Depression jokes
Are you depressed? Go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Just buy emo grass, then you will never have to mow your lawn again.
Flat earthers are completely wrong. If the earth was flat, I would have yeeted myself off the edge years ago!
Pain. Gained. Anxiety. Fulfilled. Insomnia. Depression. Always with me. Happiness... The one thing I can't have.
If I was an object in this world, I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.
If you feel sad, or you feel that you are not loved... You're with mushroom pizza.
I got jealous when my phone died.
Friend: You ok, man?
Me: Yea... I'll just leave myself "hangin'" tonight...
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Your mom.
Fuck you you rwind my life.
When I get suicidal, everyone worries. I don't know why because that is when I'm the happiest, thinking about death.
What do you call a depressed person's life?
At this point, nonexistent.
What does a depressed person and a chicken have in common? They both try to fly.
At school, Bobby's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, Bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "Why are you crying?" Bobby says, "Someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die?" His mom looks him straight in the eye and says, "Depends, which one are you referring to?"
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso espresso.
Nah, just kidding, it's bleach.
Me: The light wow brighter than my future.
Okay not a depression joke but... what’s worse than 10 babies in 1 bucket?
1 baby in 10 buckets.
What do gay people get for Christmas?
Discrimination.
My sister: See you at home in about an hour.
Me: Okay.
My sister: Sister, where are you? *She looks out the window.*
Me: Sis, I'm here, can't you see me?
Sister: OMG, she's dead!
Me: Yeah, I know, but can't you see me?
What's the most annoying thing in the world?
When you're told you're still qualified to live.
Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.