Depression jokes
Who's the world's fastest readers?
9/11 victims.
I went to an emo kid who just got a haircut, and instead of saying, "Like your cut, G," I slapped his arm and said, "I like your cuts, G."
With great depression comes great antidepressants.
Who am I?
My dad may be working, but the coping mechanisms sure aren't!
When I feel depressed, I like to cut myself another piece of cake.
Tiktoker: I will kill anyone who pours milk before cereal.
Depressed kid tiktok reply: *pours milk before cereal, pours cereal then takes a bite* I'll wait.
There are painkillers, but they only relieve physical pain. I wish something could relieve my internal pain.
Why can't depressed people make depression jokes? Because they can't talk if they are dead.
I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!
What do you call someone who wants to jump off a building?
Cause they want to become Super Man.
When I called the suicidal hotline in Iraq, they asked if I could drive the car.
A depressed kid didn't succeed at suicide and said, "I'm a failure at suicide, too."
Which one fell first?
The depressed kid or the feather? Look at 1st comment to see answer.
One time I went to high-five someone. I've been left hanging ever since.
My ex-friends are depressed. Their names are Kaitlyn and Ava.
Do depressed people hate swimming?
They hate it because they are already drowning in their depression, but they love it because it might make all their dreams come true.
I might not be able to make my bed, but at least I can get out of it.
I hear you like funny people. In fact, my whole life's a joke!
(To a thief) If you like taking things, how about you take my life?