My dad may be working, but the coping mechanisms sure aren't!
Who am I?
How's your dad?
What? I forgot he's still sleeping.
I went to an emo kid who just got a haircut, and instead of saying, "Like your cut, G," I slapped his arm and said, "I like your cuts, G."
Two friends were hanging out with each other next to a tree.
Too bad only one was standing. :)
What do you call someone who wants to jump off a building? Cause they want to become super man.
When I called the suicidal hotline in Iraq they asked if I could drive the car
When I feel depressed, I like to cut myself another piece of cake.
Tiktoker: I will kill anyone who pours milk before cereal.
Depressed kid tiktok reply: *pours milk before cereal, pours cereal then takes a bite* I'll wait.
Why can't depressed people make depression jokes? Because they can't talk if they are dead.
A depressed kid didn't succeed at suicide and said, "I'm a failure at suicide, too."
Which one fell first?
The depressed kid or the feather? Look at 1st comment to see answer.
One time I went to high-five someone. I've been left hanging ever since.
I hear you like funny people. In fact, my whole life's a joke!
I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!
Do depressed people hate swimming?
They hate it because they are already drowning in their depression, but they love it because it might make all their dreams come true.
My ex-friends are depressed. Their names are Kaitlyn and Ava.
I might not be able to make my bed, but at least I can get out of it.
(To a thief) If you like taking things, how about you take my life?
Throw a plate.
It’s broken, right?
Say “sorry” to it.
Did it fix back?
No... that’s the same thing you did to me :)
