Depression jokes

You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.

Let's have toast in the bath.

Are you a bullet? 'Cause you're stuck in my head.

What is depressing, alone, chronic, and messed up? Me.

If I die, does my depression die with me?

Tiktoker: I will kill anyone who pours milk before cereal.

Depressed kid tiktok reply: *pours milk before cereal, pours cereal then takes a bite* I'll wait.

Why can't depressed people make depression jokes? Because they can't talk if they are dead.

There are painkillers, but they only relieve physical pain. I wish something could relieve my internal pain.

When I feel depressed, I like to cut myself another piece of cake.

I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!

When I called the suicidal hotline in Iraq, they asked if I could drive the car.

What do you call someone who wants to jump off a building?

Cause they want to become Super Man.

A depressed kid didn't succeed at suicide and said, "I'm a failure at suicide, too."

Which one fell first?

The depressed kid or the feather? Look at 1st comment to see answer.

One time I went to high-five someone. I've been left hanging ever since.

Do depressed people hate swimming?

They hate it because they are already drowning in their depression, but they love it because it might make all their dreams come true.

My ex-friends are depressed. Their names are Kaitlyn and Ava.

I hear you like funny people. In fact, my whole life's a joke!

I might not be able to make my bed, but at least I can get out of it.

(To a thief) If you like taking things, how about you take my life?