Depression jokes

Why do people always talk about nine eleven???

My dad died that day.

He was a good pilot.

*sans*: Why was the skeleton depressed? Because Frisk keeps resetting and it resets when he lost his phone.

I'm not a failure. Suuuurrrre.

My doctor told me, "Time heals wounds."

So I stabbed him.

Now we wait...

At school, Bobby's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, Bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "Why are you crying?" Bobby says, "Someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die?" His mom looks him straight in the eye and says, "Depends, which one are you referring to?"

Me: I have depression.

Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!

Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.

Pain. Gained. Anxiety. Fulfilled. Insomnia. Depression. Always with me. Happiness... The one thing I can't have.

Me- *crying in the shower*

Also me- *why is my toaster in here?*

I'm a gay depressed person. Would that make me a happy unhappy person?

Why did the depressed kid jump off the bike? It was free depressed day.

My friend said, "Why do you have depression? There is so much happiness in the world." And I said, "Why do you have asthma? There is so much air in the world."

You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You only need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

"Suicide is a murder, and my body should go to jail."

I went up to the depressed kid and said, "I like ya cuts G!"

Okay not a depression joke but... what’s worse than 10 babies in 1 bucket?

1 baby in 10 buckets.

Jamal: Dads CAN grow on trees, Joseph.

Joseph: No, they don't.

Jamal: Yes, they do. I've seen it.

Joseph: ... that's not what you thought it was.

Did you know an eraser on a pencil slowly dies from your mistakes?

And did you know you're actually supposed to live for 25 minutes, but every time you breathe, it resets time?

I have depression, but I don't know how to show it in feelings.

Friend 1: What's your favorite drink or food?

Friend 2: Pizza.

Friend 3: Donuts.

Friend 4: I don't eat food but I do drink bleach.

Friend 1: (calling the suicide hotline)

Friend 2: (Calling the parents)

Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!