Depression jokes

What do you call a sad, depressed artist? Anything but "Cows of Woe".

I'm so depressed that when I smile, my Face ID doesn't recognize me.

What do you call a cow that is really sad? Utterly Depressed. HEHEHEHE

The closest thing in a depressed person's life is a knife and his/her throat.

My friend was feeling low today, so I went up to her and said, "You know, I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life." I don't think she likes me now.

I realized that a really bad joke and my life are the exact same thing.

I told my psychiatrist I was going to go kill myself. He asked if I was paying for this appointment in check or cash.

What do you call emos that live in the Bahamas?

Tropical depressions.

People complain we are overpopulated.

Well, then if we committed suicide, then why do they be sad? It's one less person to think about. Why complain about it when in the end we become sad people?

Don’t cry when you attend my funeral, I was dead long ago so why cry now?

Your mom is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.

when someone says to cheer up: you, I never thought of that. :)

-> in reality, :( (sob)

depression is no game, and here in this world, we are here for each other, although at times it might not seem like it.

Keep strong, and you'll find the end of the tunnel, but ending the pain and being gone just spreads depression.

Depressed people have beautiful smiles. Okay, it's not a joke for normal people, but it's a joke for us.

I’m like an escalator because I’m always letting people down.

Are you bleach? Because I want you inside of me.

Sometimes my battery life has the same recognition as me :(

Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!

A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.

What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.

What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Crippling depression.

Crippling depression who--?

Me.

Why did the depressed kid cross the road?

To get hit by a car.

Yeah, I'm made out of DNA.

✨ Depression and anxiety ✨