Depression jokes
What's the difference between an ugly monster and you?
Nothing.
I wish I didn't have depression because all my friends have "BBC Bitch be crazy" disease.
My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!
When you suffer from depression and somebody tells you to just cheer up-- Me: My goodness, what an idea! Why didn't I think of this before?
Why did the depressed kid jump off the bike? It was free depressed day.
What’s a depressed kid's favorite game? Hangman.
Next time at Walmart, I'm going to scan my wrist. They are basically barcodes.
My depressed mom looks good hanging from a tree.
A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"
I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
Hey you, the person who's scrolling, I know you might have depression and some feel they can't talk to anyone about it, so in the comments please, if you need to talk to others, if you comment about it and say you need to talk to someone, I promise you that I will talk to you. You are not alone, and even though it seems it won't change and get better, it will, I promise.
Please no harsh comments toward each other.
What do you call a depressed person?
Me.
When you think you're depressed, but you know you're probably just using depression to be lazy and self-loathing, but then you realize that it, in itself, might actually be a symptom of depression.
Well gang, it looks like we've got another mystery on our hands!
Being alive is so expensive, I am not even having a good time doing it.
At school, Bobby's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, Bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "Why are you crying?" Bobby says, "Someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die?" His mom looks him straight in the eye and says, "Depends, which one are you referring to?"
I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again, but if life is a labyrinth, I'd always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favorite...
what do sloths and depressed people have in common? ... they both hang from trees.
Are you my fish? Because you're supposed to be dead.
Are you a bullet? 'Cause you're stuck in my head.
What do you call emos that live in the Bahamas?
Tropical depressions.