Depression jokes

Can all the hot, depressed, suicidal guys just text me so we can meet up and cry together about how depressed we are. For real.

My fucking life, cya.

At every funeral, it's a try-not-to-say-"big mood"-challenge for me.

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

I got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging.

How to respond if someone starts looking at the photos on your phone.

Step 1: Jab your thumbs into their eye sockets.

What's the difference between depression and your ex?

Depression fucks you harder.

What does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? A stand-up comedian.

A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid.

Man: "Hang in there! I'm gonna get some help!"

Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said.

RIP Daniel Kyre from Cyndago (July 6, 1994-September 18, 2015)

Daniel committed suicide five years ago today......

I wish my grass were emo, so it would cut itself.

Define abnormal life.

Waking up every day living a sane life!

I got a toaster for my birthday and said, "Yay, new bath bomb!"

I'm not a chef, but boy, are these days getting harder and harder to get through.

There was always that one specific person you thought ruined your life, but it turns out your life has always been ruined by you being in it.

The difference between my life and a joke is that a joke has meaning.

What does the depressed person say to the happy person?

"Damn, I wish I was on the stuff you're on, lol."

Let's have toast in the bath.

I have depression, but I don't know how to show it in feelings.

Me: *Meets girl, starts to form crush* Me after I get enough courage to talk to her: “Are you a casket lid because I want you on top of me?”

“What do you call my friend group?” “Suicide Squad.”

Me: Knock knock.

Person: Who's there?

Me: No-one.

Person: No-one who?

Me:...........