An obese depressed mother is trying to tie a noose but can’t reach it so she calls her son for help a few minutes later son: there mother: where did you learn to tie such a good noose? son: dad showed me before he died mother: DAM HIM TO HE- slips and noose chokes her to death
Depression Jokes
when you frend ask why dont you smile then you look at them and then rels no one there becase you have no frinds #my life
I thought today was going to be a good day when I woke up this morning. But then I got to the store and they said they were out of rope.
I was watching my boyfriends dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with the him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When i looked down, he appeared to be dead. My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn’t know what to do ,so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waiting for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said ,”you know , your dogs been a little depressed lately…”
I tried to get my bloood sucked by a vampire, but he said I was too empty inside
Doctor : what makes you feel depressed? Me: I used to work at the word trade centre, before the plane hit. Doctor: a lot of people fell to pieces after that.
Tomorrow is Christmas and I’m giving myself a present that I can’t wait to open. It’s my wrist. (yes this was inspired by a Fallout boy song)
I liked my life when I first got it…later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.
I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated
Someone broke into my house and took my anti-depressants… I hope they’re happy now 😐
dark humor is like a home not everyone gets it
How to complement a depressed person: I like your cuts g
I respect cancer more than I respect depression. At least cancer has the balls to kill you himself.
What do you call the whole population turning into emos?
The Great Depression.
The ones you hate most are also the one who is by your side most.
Teacher: Describe a penguin
Student: Black, White, Beak
Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan
Student: Sad, maybe depressed, No family
Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow
Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes
Teacher: No! How does that describe a cow?
Student: It describes you tho.
What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn’t need a rope to hang
If I die delete my search history
Q- what makes depressed kids jump?
A- Bridges
You know what relationships and life? They both come to an end