Depression jokes
Sometimes my battery life has the same recognition as me :(
Your mom is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.
So you're in a hospital, you barely survive your suicide attempt. You see one of the scalpels, you finish the job.
If gay means happy, then I am now straight.
Yeah, I'm made out of DNA.
✨ Depression and anxiety ✨
Tomorrow is Christmas, and I'm giving myself a present that I can't wait to open. It's my wrist. (Yes, this was inspired by a Fall Out Boy song.)
What do you call a depressed person?
Me.
Everything I fall in love with leaves me. Maybe if I fall in love with my depression, it'll leave me too.
I wish I didn't have depression because all my friends have "BBC Bitch be crazy" disease.
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender?
A: Nothing! He was hung over.
What do you call a train with bubble gum?
A chew chew train.
Oh man, I'm depressed.
How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.
Random person: "Just turn the page and start over."
Me: "I'm not sure if you're telling me to be gay or uhhhh die but both are good options."
Everyone in my class: "I can't wait until I have a family, I can't wait to study for my dream job."
My friends: "What's your dream job?"
Me: "I'm going to die young :))"
I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning. A depressing but satisfying victory.
My mom told me it's not healthy to stay in my room all day... but the only places I'm allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.
What do you call emos that live in the Bahamas?
Tropical depressions.
When you realize you have depression, and depression realizes how stupid you were.
What's an Emo's favorite drink?
Water, JK it's cyanide.
Friend 1: What's the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me, repeating a year.
Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you?
Then there is me: My life.