So, Satan is in the delivery room having a child.
Soon, a feathered creature comes out. "Doctor," says Satan, "What is it?"
The doctor sighs. "Well, it's not a boy, and it's not a girl."
Satan looks frustrated. "THEN WHAT IS IT?!?!?"
The doctor looks up. "It's a goose."
Why is Santa’s sack so big?
Because he only comes once a year.
What is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?
You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.
Stephen Hawking tried comedy.
His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."
Smaller babies may be delivered by a stork, but bigger ones need a crane.
Nurse: Don't worry, I'm great with babies. Parents: You are? Nurse: Yeah, I always abort them. Parent:... Parent: You're hired.
What's a pedophile's favorite holiday?
Halloween. Free delivery!
Why did Michael Jackson call Boyz II Men? He thought they were a delivery service.
What's the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop?
Pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly.
When other people tell a joke, 3/3 people laugh.
When I tell a joke, 1/3 people laugh, but 2/3 people stare into my soul.
Any joke can be funny with the right delivery. Except abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year.
What is a pedophile's favorite part about Halloween? -- Free delivery.
I just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.
I'll let you know.
Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?"
His mother replies, "The stork brings them."
Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who fucks the stork?"
