Definition jokes

Yes, I have gained weight. I have also gained more brains. Do you want some? You talk like you definitely need some more.

What is the definition of confusion?

Three blind lesbians in a fish market.

Fletcher is not a lesbian. He is also not an Asian. He is also definitely not an accident.

"Immobile" means "I'm mobile" in my books.

What is the definition of a woman?

A life support system for a vagina.

What's the definition of total chaos?

A bus load of retards passing a magnet factory.

What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?

I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!

Did you know that the letter "f" in "orphan" stands for family?

If at first you don’t succeed... then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

What does "bitch" mean?

Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"

You know, they didn't add the word "retard" into the dictionary for nothing.

What does the "W" stand for in Africa?

Water.

What's the definition of rude?

Sticking a blind man in a corner and telling him to find his wife.

So one time I was looking up the definition of "accident" because I was a little dumbo and didn’t know what it meant. Then my sister walks up behind me and points at the word and says, “That’s you!” (meaning that I was an accident).

A few minutes later, we had a big family meeting and my dad said to my sister, “Sweetie, you were an accident. We didn’t mean to make you, but we still love you with everything we’ve got.”

My sister never talked to me again and left the house. She was 17 when she left. Seriously, 17-year-olds just never mature, huh?

Guys, I know how to stop racism. Delete the word "racism." People can't be something that doesn't exist.

The definition of the word "Disappointment" means running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose.

Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.

10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.

Me: What’s the definition of “ignorance”?

Friend: Don’t know?

Me: U STUPID!

I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.

The extra detention didn't do much, but the extra chromosome definitely did.