Definition jokes

Yesterday I wanted to look up the term "procrastination".

I swear, I'll do it tomorrow.

A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street. He thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with, so he called in one of the friends.

The friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." The policeman called in the 2nd friend. The 2nd friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." Confused, the policeman asked, "How is it that when you look into his face you're sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you're sure he is not?"

The 1st friend said, "Well, you see, Joe has 2 assholes." "Are you serious?" the policeman asked. "Oh yes," he replied, "we've never actually seen them, but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, 'Hey, there's Joe with those 2 assholes.'"

What do you call a heterosexual man performing fellatio on another heterosexual man?

Bisexual.

What is a gay person's favorite book?

The dictionary.

A blond-haired girl, a brown-haired girl, and a ginger-haired girl were out walking when they came across some tracks.

The brown-haired girl looked at them and said, "I think they are elephant tracks."

Then the ginger-haired girl looked at the tracks and said, "No way, they are definitely duck tracks."

Finally, the blond-haired girl bent down to examine the tracks when she got hit by the train.

The "W" in Africa stands for water.

I asked what LGBTQ stands for, and I couldn’t get a straight answer.

Who is the definition of a natural-born cocksucker?

A bisexual male, a homosexual male, a bisexual female, or a heterosexual female?

A physically disabled heterosexual male.

What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?”

Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.

Did you know that the "f" in "orphans" means family?

What is the giant's synonyms?

Fi, fo, fum.

If a bike is also called a bicycle, then what is a test also called?

A tEsTiClE!

What is the definition of confusion?

Three blind lesbians in a fish market.

I have a friend whose birthday is on September 11th.

They're going to have an explosive party that will definitely blow you away!

It's gonna be the bomb, and a blast, too!

I asked my orphan friend to come to my house. He said he was confused because he didn't know what that is.

All the people disliking these jokes are definitely orphans.

JFK is definitely a bottom.

Orphans

The “F” in orphan stands for family.

Q: What does encyclopedia mean by cut them in triple?

A: Encyclopedia, more like "An Cyclone Media!"

I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.